Wallnau: Christians Have Secret to Curing Diabetes, Fossil Fuel Use

Wallnau: Christians Have Secret to Curing Diabetes, Fossil Fuel Use January 17, 2013

An evangelist named Lance Wallnau delivered one of the nuttiest diatribes I’ve ever seen on the Trinity Broadcasting Network, claiming that Christians have been given secret technology that cures diabetes and ends the need to use fossil fuels — but they’re keeping it to themselves. And he thinks they should share them with Chinese communist leaders in exchange for access to evangelize that country.


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  • Wait a minute! Willing to share the secret of energy independence with the Chinese commies but not with the Good Ol’ US of A? What is this guy … a TRAITORr?

  • Draken

    Yep, betraying for Jesus is going to be the new trend.

  • wscott

    That’s the weirdest thing I’ve seen all day. (Of course, it’s early.) Funny how when he says “stewarding” it sounds a lot like “hoarding and refusing to share.”

  • Reginald Selkirk

    Yes yes yes, I hope he goes to China and tries to pull this fraud on the Chinese leadership. I think the only question would be whether they invoke the death penalty, let him rot in prison, or deport him for life.

  • busterggi

    Let me guess – it involves praying a lot and sending Pastor Wallnau all one’s money.

  • Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    Of course, if you had the technology to cure diabetes and refused to provide it to the millions of diabetes sufferers around the world, that wouldn’t exactly be “loving your neighbor as yourself”, would it?

  • jnorris

    We all know how the wingnuts have to one up the other wingnuts. So now I’m waiting for the other religious screwballs to claim to have the earache cure but want to go to China first.

  • some bastard on the net

    Interesting how he uses the phrase, “Chieftan on the island,” as though China has no contact with the rest of the continent that it’s fucking part of.

    I’m willing to bet that his ‘deal’ would be quickly accepted by Chinese leaders. They get an economic advantage over other countries (including ours, makes me wonder why he’s not bothering giving us an offer), while Wallnau’s minions missionaries beat their heads against the wall trying to convert any Chinese who weren’t convinced by the thousands of other missionaries that have already gone to China.

  • some bastard on the net

    …the rest of the continent that it’s fucking part of.

    That looked wrong when I read it again.

    I meant that China is part of the fucking continent, not that it is actively fucking part of the continent.

  • iangould

    “I meant that China is part of the fucking continent, not that it is actively fucking part of the continent.”

    Tell that to Tibet.

  • iangould

    A quick prediction: every single technological advance to come out of China over the next decade will be claimed as proof of the secret transfer of technology from “Kingdom-minded believers”.

  • infraredeyes

    The Chinese should start a bidding war here. After all, they are sitting on one of the largest hoards* of unshriven souls in the world. They should definitely give the Vatican, and maybe Salt Lake City, a chance to get in on the action.

    * Not to be confused with a horde.

  • And this magic technology consists of… Prayer. Because prayer can do anything, right?

  • footface

    I’ve had Type 1 (insulin-dependent) diabetes for 20+ years.

    I’ll take the cure, please?

    How about if I promise to go to church once?

  • If they can actually start my car with nothing but prayer. I might actually become a believer. I wonder how many MPAs* they can get.

    *Miles Per Amen.

  • anubisprime

    Well they got to expand their recruitment base…the old one has dried up and flaked away!

  • d.c.wilson, don’t forget that if you fill your tires with prayer they never go flat. Also, you get light headed and have wonky things happen to your hearing, vision and balance when trying to inflate them, which I believe is how Pentecostalism got started.

  • tbp1

    How is that these people don’t realize that the god they worship is, you know, evil (or would be, if he actually existed)?

  • First of all, he’s on the sleaziest of the sleazy xianist networks and he’s being interviewed by Dwight Thompson, I think, who is one of the sleaziest of all the televangelists. His voice alone is like a deluge of arrogance coupled with outright stupidity. So why would anyone doubt him?

    You think if he really did have this technology, someone would have hacked into it already. Unless their firewalls are protected by Jeebus.

    If this technology actually existed, it would make billions of dollars and I am sure there are plenty of nations and corporations would fake a temporary conversion to get it. And then they would laugh all the way to the bank.

    I couldn’t watch the whole clip. When did they get to the send money part?