King’s Mendacious Defense

King’s Mendacious Defense July 30, 2013

Rep. Steve King is rightly being blasted from all sides for his repulsive comments about there being 100 Mexican immigrant drug mules “with calves the size of cantaloupes” for every smart student among the Dreamers and he is doubling down on his racism. Appearing on the Laura Ingraham show he refused to back down:

The Iowa Republican insisted that he had “personal experience” observing and even “picking people up” with “calves the size of cantaloupes.”

“That description comes from many days down on the border, riding and sitting with the border patrol and without them at night, no night vision, watching the shadows come across the border, picking people up personally with my hands, unloading illegal drugs out of a vehicle with a false bottom under the truck,” he explained. “I mean this is a personal experience, and I sit there at night and border patrol agents would come to me one at a time in their civil clothes and talk to me clandestinely.”

“And so they all have calves the size of cantaloupes?” Ingraham wondered. “What?”

“I insulted the illegal drug dealers, the drug smugglers. I insulted them, I admit that,” King replied. “I don’t know why anybody else would be insulted.”

“Will you apologize for this comment?” Ingraham pressed.

“No, I won’t do that, Laura,” King said. “If I did that, that would further marginalize, and that would be a confession that the statement that I made was wrong or inaccurate.”

Let me try that on for size. “For every intelligent Republican congressman there are 100 child molesters.” What? Why would you be offended, Mr. King? I’m insulting child molesters. I don’t know why anyone else would be insulted. Oh, you don’t buy that? How surprising.

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  • R Johnston

    For every intelligent Republican congressman there are infinitely many child molesters. That’s not offensive; it’s just true. Math works that way.

  • Steve King, protecting you from Steve King’s imagination since 2003.

    Steve King. Freedom. America. Imaginary Mexicans.


    (This message brought to you by the Committee to Re-elect Steve King to Congress)

  • keithb

    And, of course, teens being drug mules having nothing to do with DREAM act kids, who were brought to the US as children. Apples and Oranges.

  • R Johnston


    More like apples and the moons of Jupiter.

  • tubi

    More like apples and cantaloupes?

  • “For every intelligent Republican congressman there are 100 child molesters.”

    Doesn’t compute: Divide-by-zero error.

  • Chiroptera

    The Iowa Republican insisted that he had “personal experience” observing and even “picking people up” with “calves the size of cantaloupes.”

    Important tip: Always read your copy before you publish it!

  • frankb

    I know some great people who live on the western side of Iowa. I am beginning to feel sorry for them.

  • John Pieret

    When even Laura Ingraham is having trouble believing that you’re saying what you’re saying, it might be time to rethink it.

    Oh, wait a minute, that would require being able to think … neeeever mind

  • exdrone

    Stevie is spreading anecdotes about doing border patrol ride-alongs in order to get invited to guest star on Steven Seagal: Lawman.

  • freehand

    Picking people up with his hands? I’m sorry, WTF is hat about? Helping them into his jeep, heaving them from over his head like a cartoon wrestler, carrying dead bodies, hugging children. I really have trouble picturing anything sane and non-perverse that this might refer to.

  • freehand “Picking people up with his hands?”

    Not like that. Like at a bar.

  • CaitieCat

    Am I perhaps missing some cultural referent that would explain why these alleged smugglers have large or rounded calves, or why anyone would care about the shape of their legs below the knees?

  • CaitieCat, it’s due to the Iowa’s unique geography. And also because Steve King pulled the info from where all the best info comes from. His anus.

  • CaitieCat

    Ah, so it’s transrectal instantiation as evidence? Fella should run for Prez in 2016, he could out-lie Romney.

  • dingojack

    Steve King joins the border patrol in order to pick-up drug mules with calves like cantaloupes? Doesn’t sound like much of a first date to me, but I suppose it beats taking a ‘wide stance’ in train station bathrooms.


  • bad Jim

    Calves like cantaloupes, quads like watermelons, glutes like a pair of honeydews …

  • “picking people up personally with my hands…”

    Goodness, he was lifting them personally with his hands? His biceps must be like coconuts. And his brain like a blueberry.

    This jackass is from Iowa for crissakes. If his constituents think that his spending time down on the Mexican border is a good use of his time, they must be the one district in the nation without any pressing issues or problems that need solving.

  • Calves the size of cantaloupes. Right.

    Does he mean the 500g of the 5kg size?

    Now, Stevie is partly right. Many of the sortabrowns who risk their lives to come here and PICK cantaloupes for short money have been doing the same or heavier work for even less in Old Mexico. There is some causal mechanism, other than humping bales of pot or bricks of Pervuian flake and Mexican Brown that will add some muscle mass to the lower legs. Back in the day, student volunteers used to schep propane tanks up the side of Mt. Washington to the “Lake of the Clouds” hut–that will make your calves balloon, trust me on that.

    I wonder. does Little Stevie Braindead think all of the people in the Tour de France are drug mules, as well? The NFL?

    I think for every intelligent comment that Stevie made in the interview, check that; I think for every intelligent comment that he has EVER made…shit, forget it.

  • Left out of Stevie’s little diatribe is what oneathem thievin’ messicans would do if somebody put 40 or 50 kilos of marching powder or smack on his pack frame and told him to deliver it to somebody. I’ve never considered a life in the drug trade but put that kind of money in my hands and I might go all Tony Montana on your whitebread ass, Steve.

  • “For every intelligent Republican congressman there are 100 child molesters.”

    Children can feel a lot safer knowing that!

  • BTW, Stevie.

    I was at my local farmer’s market last week and they had cantaloupes that ranged in size from muscular calves to DD breasts. Just sayin’.

  • caseloweraz

    “…and that would be a confession that the statement that I made was wrong or inaccurate.”

    And, as we all know, Steve King never makes inaccurate statements. <cough>