Even the Nostalgia Was Better in the Old Days

Even the Nostalgia Was Better in the Old Days August 1, 2013

The very shouty “Coach” Dave Daubenmire yells at the camera once again, this time telling you how amazing things were when he was a kid when he was allowed to eat candy and ice cream. But now the evil federal government has outlawed ice cream…or something. Who the hell knows what he’s on about.


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  • Jesus cross on a baseball cap. Yep, pretty much all I need to know about this guy.

  • Thumper; Atheist mate

    “Inside that word “inheritence” is the word “heritage”.”

    … No it isn’t.

  • Ah, the good old days, when furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real furry creatures from Alpha Centauri, damn it.

  • daved

    I’d say he took a few too many trips around the block on his bike without a helmet.

  • Yes, the nostalgia WAS better back then, dammit! Back then if you wanted to tell rambling incoherent stories of the days of your youth, you had to walk through three feet of snow to go to a place where other people could hear you face to face, ’cause we didn’t have any stinking Intertubes. And there was no newfangled electronic record thingies, so you could change your story without them young punks gettin’ all clever and catching you with it. And we liked it that way. Damn kids these days want their irrelevant bullshit delivered to their bedside in their mommas’ basements…

  • “You owe the federal government $850,000”

    What the hell? Even by wingnut math standards, this is insane. That comes out to about $270 trillion for the whole nation.

  • dcsohl

    He said — sorry, he yelled — just $50,000, not $850,000 like it said on the backdrop. $50K is more like it… that is, if you assume the national debt should be divided up per capita and not by net worth or just ignored (hey, deficits don’t matter, remember?)

    If you divide it up by net worth, then you would “owe” something around 13% of your net worth. Which, by the way, is generally $0 for a newborn baby.

  • Leaving a huge tax debt to your kids is the most horrible thing ever. But leaving them poisoned air, poisoned land, undrinkable water, and crappy schools is perfectly okay, as long as he has plenty of gas to drive his parents’ SUV to whatever job he can get.

    Oh, and why would a baby owe so much money to the Feds? Could it have something to do with his parents refusing to pay for their proper governance no matter what?

  • “He said — sorry, he yelled — just $50,000, not $850,000 like it said on the backdrop.”

    Yeah, I noticed that. But why the discrepancy? The backdrop is not exactly subtle. While I’m sure it was added digitally and Dave can’t see it, you’d think he and whoever put it there would try to get their story straight. (At least I’m assuming this because they say “TRUTH” in their subheading, which means they must be exceptionally honest and careful with their claims!)

  • dingojack

    Accirding to the CIA World Factbook the Public Debt of the US is 72.5% of GDP, or about $36,494 per capita.



    $50K per American = 99.3314% of US GDP

    $ 850K per American = 168.8634% of US GDP

  • $50K per American = 99.3314% of US GDP

    $ 850K per American = 168.8634% of US GDP

    You need to move a decimal over one place. $850k per person would be 1689% of GDP. That’s so wildly off the mark and clearly impossible that I figured he had to be referring to something else. Average lifetime amount of taxes owed? Whatever the case, it’s bullshit.

  • marym

    Daubenmire’s son is on the Ohio sexual offenders’ registry due to an ’07 conviction for pandering child porn http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/1791954/posts Zachary Daubenmire graduated from law school about two years ago and applied to take the bar exam but was rejected. The Ohio State Bar Association website states that “character and fitness” are among the considerations for application.

    “The Board of Commissioners on Character & Fitness is responsible for ensuring that each applicant for admission to the practice of law possesses the requisite character, fitness, and moral qualifications for admission. The Board consists of 12 members, appointed by the Court, who must be members of the Ohio bar. Pursuant to Gov. Bar R. I, Sections 10-13, the Board’s essential functions are to promulgate admission standards and applications, supervise the work of local bar admissions committees, review the character, fitness, and moral qualifications of each applicant for admission, and hear appeals from admission applicants who receive adverse admission recommendations from local bar admission committees. “

    Zach Daubenmire has taken his case to the Ohio Supreme Court demanding that his lack of fitness be proven or, failing that, he be allowed to take the bar exam. http://www.supremecourt.ohio.gov/Clerk/ecms/resultsbycasenumber.asp?type=3&year=2013&number=0458&myPage=

    Some states, California for instance, do not allow felons to practice law. Ohio has no law against it. IMO pandering child porn, a second degree felony, is in a different category than theft, drug dealing or other crimes. Most people believe that once a pervert, always a pervert. Who wants to hire (or do business with) a known sexual offender anyway? I’m curious to see how this turns out.