Oh Boy, an ‘Ex-Gay’ Anthem

Oh Boy, an ‘Ex-Gay’ Anthem October 30, 2013

The “ex-gay” movement now has a theme song, an anthem, that they’re talking up. It’s written and performed by Dennis Jernigan, who says he used to be gay but isn’t anymore. The song is horrible, five and a half minutes of melodramatic cliches about the need to “embrace your destiny” set to a tune that makes Celine Dion sound like Metallica.


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  • Of course the song is horrible — it has to be, otherwise a pleasing sound, voice and/or rhythm might re-trigger their homosexual desires. They’re very careful to avoid people, movies, books, and other information that might cause such re-triggering; so I’m sure the songwriter had a similar guideline to follow here.

  • stephenmurphy

    Thanks to Ed, I now have a new winner (loser) as my ‘worst song ever’ – I thought nothing could top God Bless the USA or Having My Baby. How wrong I was.

  • How about they sing, “I am asshole, I am asshole.” off key to the ditty of “Oh My Darling, Clementine.” It would be slightly less annoying and vastly more truthful.

  • There should be a kook anthem collection. It could feature this, the Refusers’ “Vaccine Gestapo,”…

  • Mr Ed

    So the Lumberjack song by Jones et al. wasn’t good enough.

    Sad really, people desperately trying to conform to something they aren’t and not happy with who they are.

  • barry21

    Rise up and embrace your destiny by living in denial!

  • caseloweraz

    The song that popped into my head when I read this headline was Roger Miller’s “The Numbers Song” (aka “You used to love me once but now you got 2 again”).

  • I’m not listening to that. Nope. No way. Not me.

  • Ok, 20 seconds…now I have to go change my clothes, take a shower and start all over trying to learn what music is supposed to sound like.

  • uzza

    “Rise up … embrace your Destiny.”

    (snicker) NSFW

  • I’d like to meet an “ex-gay” sometime. It would a fun challenge to seduce him.

    Challenge or not it would still be fun. hehe

  • Jeeze. “I am the very model of a modern het’rosexual”? Somebody’s trying too hard.

  • Abby Normal

    About time ex-gays had a song. Their significant others have had one for years, Lovefool.

    Love me love me

    Say that you love me

    Fool me fool me

    Go on and fool me

    Love me love me

    Pretend that you love me

  • Artor

    I wonder if this could be re-mixed as a show tune?

  • dingojack

    Surely this is their anthem?


  • Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    Somebody’s dream has way too much saccharine in it.

  • Abdul Alhazred

    Oh say can you see, no more gayness on meeeeee …. 😉

  • adobo

    A few things to point out:

    1) Did you see that very “manly” candelabra on top of the piano? That is so so Liberace in a Rock Hudson type ‘No no, Im not gay!!’ kind of way.

    2) Is it just me or why is that every time I see his mouth wide open to sing those high notes, I wonder to myself about how many cocks have been shoved down it?

    3) Melodramatic cliche much?

    4) What destiny is he talking about? Honestly, I know drag queens who have mega egos but this is the first time I’ve seen an “ex-gay” with a drag queen messiah complex.

    I’m finished now.

  • Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    Okay, seriously, I’m impressed with his voice. I could totally see him off-broadway as the boss in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (i can’t remember his name) or something like that.

    But the song? I only made it through half, but he hadn’t yet mentioned even something as ambiguous as “purity”. Rise up and live your life in public? Okay. Is that a call to atheists to come out of the closet or NAMBLA to protest government surveillance or an agoraphobe to get help or cops to act as if they didn’t feel like they could lie about any action that they took and be believed?

    Maybe it’s a celebratory him for the Kiribati government having just ratified another human rights treaty – and about time, too?

    Except for “laying down your life for those you lead” there would be no clue at all that this comes out of a religious or political perspective, and even that is oblique. Is this Churchillian or Christian sacrifice being advocated here?

    We don’t know.

    His piano is more accomplished than my guitar, I’ll give him that, but beyond demonstrating a voice that can project while remaining on key – a kind of audition tape for theater directors – is there any virtue in this thing at all?

    Are there really not enough songs out there with generic “rise up” messages?

    Hell, what about Prokofiev’s score from Sergey Eisenstein’s Alexander Nevsky? IIRC that had a “Rise up, you Russian People” anthem – that was a hell of a lot better than this, and you could nudgenudge, winkwink about the latest Russian anti-queer legislation until it even seemed to have a relevant political message.

    I have no background in PR, Christianity, or music, and right here is the seed of an idea far better than this twaddle.

    Truly, there may not be a force more powerful in organizing the visible universe than gravity, but human stupidity hasn’t stopped trying to challenge for the title.

  • Thumper; Immorally Inferior Sergeant Major in the Grand Gynarchy Mangina Corps (GGMC)

    They’ve shot themselves in the foot there; that song is comprehensive proof that there is no God. No loving God could allow that to exist.