Straight Reporter Yearns for Good Old Days of Gay Outlaws

Straight Reporter Yearns for Good Old Days of Gay Outlaws November 13, 2013

Patrick Howley of the Daily Caller has written what may be the most irritating and asinine column you will read this week, this month, this year. The straight “investigative reporter” waxes nostalgic for the good old days when he loved the gay culture he wasn’t even alive to witness.

Gays have become totally boring, this reporter has learned.

Although gay Americans were for decades popularly identified as daring, transgressive, flamboyant, colorful and sometimes menacing (though also intriguing) mavericks, self-styled advocates have managed to rebrand the gay community as a bland, tedious, grievance group eagerly seeking government approval…

Not too long ago, I sat across from a quasi-famous gay writer at the chic West Hollywood lunch spot Swingers. As I probably complained about my career, he glanced around at our fellow lunch patrons, most of whom were young progressive men who met at some $1,200-a-month gym or a fundraiser for bullied teens or a nightclub with a one-word name. He put down his finger sandwich and sighed. “I don’t even know these people anymore,” he said. I understood him, and I sympathized.

Gayness used to be pretty awesome, according to alternative literature from the period 1954-78. Back in the day, gays were subversive adventurers, trolling the city streets at night on a lustful quest for experience and with an outlaw mentality not seen since the days of the Wild West. They were decadently-dressed sexual superheroes, daring Middle America to condemn them as they pranced their corseted, high-heeled bodies around to midnight screenings of great American movies like “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” “Pink Flamingoes,” and “Mommy Dearest.” They had an ingrained creativity, a patented sense of irony. They had a brand. They had an identity.

Need I point out that Howley was born in 19 fucking 89? And that the reason gay people before he was born may have seemed like outlaws is because being gay was actually, you know, outlawed? Seriously, young man who clearly thinks of himself as incredibly clever and witty, you really should just shut the fuck up.

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