Mychal Massie’s Incoherent Screed

Mychal Massie’s Incoherent Screed January 10, 2014

Mychal Massie is a Worldnetdaily columnist who routinely writes some of the more bizarre screeds that appear on that site (and imagine the competition for that description). But see if you can make any sense at all out of this weird, incoherent bit of word salad:

We the People didn’t wait for a show of hands pursuant to who would be involved before cries of outrage cascaded from every area of domicile. People didn’t ask others, “What can we do?” They took it upon themselves to express personal outrage that metastasized into a cacophony of condemnation that resulted in the retreat of the A&E cable network. That is the exertive power that politicians know exists and pray every day we do not realize that we have at our disposal. Because, as was evidenced in the 2010 off-year elections, when We the People are motivated to stand up and push back, no political force on earth can deny us…

We the People must be vigilant and proactive. We cannot rely upon the media. We know right from wrong, and we certainly should know a lie when we hear one. But I would be remiss if I didn’t reference the prominent part the church played in defense of protecting and preserving the truth pursuant to defending Mr. Robertson.

I was saying it before the 2010 off-year elections, and I’ve been saying it since same. The ability to stop the transmogrification of our great nation into a socialist state where we are lorded over by Fabianistic, Neo-Leninist Mensheviks who are the equivalent of toxic pathogens intent on subjugating the minds and behavior of our populace lies with We the People.

This sounds like someone trying really, really hard to sound smarter than he is by using a bunch of big words. And failing badly.

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  • The T-Rex was tough, but the Thesaurus was the most dangerous dinosaur.

  • Nick Gotts

    Fabianistic, Neo-Leninist Mensheviks


    The Fabians were (and insofar as they still exist, are) complete gradualists, adhering exclusively to peaceful, parliamentary means. The Mensheviks were orthodox Marxist revolutionaries, believing that a socialist revolution was not possible in Russia until it had first undergone a bourgeois revolution and a period of capitalist development. Lenin utterly despised both groups, particularly after he’d adopted Trotsky’s notion of “permanent revolution”, which doesn’t mean what you might think, but simply that conditions did allow a socialist revolution in Russia, led by a “vanguard party”. The quoted phrase makes as much sense as “conservative neo-Nazi liberals” or “Christian neo-Muslim Jews”.

  • Par for the Tea Party course, then, Nick. Works right in there with ‘communist Nazi’ that they’re so fond of.

  • TxSkeptic

    Or was this ghost written for him by Sarah Palin?

  • ““Christian neo-Muslim Jews”

    That’s probably reasonably close to, “Christian Neocrypticmuslim jew**” which is what they will be calling President Obamandingo before long.

    When the TRUE KKKristians are making up the list of enemies of the Statechurch, those of you who insist on capitalizing jew, muslim, catholic, buddhist and the like–all FAKE religions–will be signing your own death warrants. May you find peace in the bounteous love of GOD, after you are drawn and quartered.

  • Artor

    Ed, there’s something worse than the usual ads on your site. Now there are random words hotlinked, not just in your post, but even in other people’s comments. They don’t go to anything relevant, but in your post, the word “power” links to a popup of one of those “Power companies hate this…” ads. In Nick’s comment at #2, “capitalist” goes to “Big Corporations want to ban this weight loss pill…”

    This seems more pernicious than the banner ads your hosting service puts on the site. Inserting links into other people’s posts is a bit over the line. I don’t know if there’s anything you can do about it, but I thought you should know, in case it’s a third-party attack or something.

  • uzza

    The Fabianists were kind of scary.

  • Artor

    It’s put links in my own post too. Weight loss & hosting are linked to popup ads now. Does everyone see this, or is there something on my computer that does it?

  • Taz

    from every area of domicile


    I love how the right wing is trumpeting their victory*. They actually forced A&E to not disrupt a huge cash cow. Talk about crying all the way to the bank. In the meantime let’s not forget the most important point: Phil Robertson is still a dim-witted buffoon.

    *Actually, the outcry had less to do with politics and more to do with “don’t mess with my entertainment”.

  • voidhawk

    It’s like something written by a drunken Sir Humphery.

  • magistramarla

    This just points out the very real imperative for all of us who are sane to make sure to vote in both 2014 and 2016.

  • Nihilismus

    People didn’t ask others, “What can we do?” They took it upon themselves to express personal outrage . . . .

    . . .

    But I would be remiss if I didn’t reference the prominent part the church played in defense of protecting and preserving the truth pursuant to defending Mr. Robertson.

    Yeah, people took it upon themselves . . . after their churches told them about some show they probably didn’t watch and told them to make their new personal outrage heard.

  • @ Artor

    I’m running FireFox and I’m not seeing those, so it’s likely something on your system or a “feature” of your browser.

  • freehand

    Artor: It’s put links in my own post too. Weight loss & hosting are linked to popup ads now. Does everyone see this, or is there something on my computer that does it?

    Nope. Using Firefox on Windows 7 I only see the usual ads. I do have a site blocker, but as far as I can tell I don’t have any of ed’s advertisement source sites blocked. They show u; I ignore them.

  • freehand

    Was this actually all about that Duck Dynasty thing? How the Hell does the government play a role in any of this?

  • I don’t think I’ll ever understand why anyone would want to adopt that style on a site that writes about “Real Americans Vs Elites” so often.

    For that matter, I don’t think I understand why anyone would want to adopt that style, period.

  • anachronistes


    I’m running Safari on an iPad – no hot links here.


  • @Artor:

    I’m not seeing strange links either, and I disable AdBlock Plus for FTB. I did once have an installation wizard slip in some software that acted much like you described, adding in hotlinks on key words. I suspect you need to clean your computer.

  • jamessweet

    Yup. Somebody got a thesaurus for Christmas. Delivered by Santa straight their “domicile”.

  • mjmiller

    I don’t believe that was ghost written by Ms. Palin. Probably “transmogrified” by Calvin and Hobbes.

  • My browser is powered by methane–which I supply.

    Just for grits and shins; “Reville in Teabagistan “:

    today’s comic if that link doesn’t work directly.

  • Trebuchet

    @6, Artor, and others: Use the “Tech Issues” button at the top to let Ed and Jason know. More direct and doesn’t derail the thread. If you can afford $30, there’s also an ad-free option.

  • John Pieret


    It’s something on your computer. I had it on mine once. Run, do not walk, to your virus software (and if you don’t have any, run, do not walk, to McAfee, Norton, Webroot or any such other place and buy some) and run a scan. That should take care of it.

  • John Pieret

    Bottom line: wingnut Mad Libs powered by Roget’s.

  • Scr… Archivist

    Here’s my translation:

    “Real Americans pressured the cable channel A&E to reinstate Phil Robertson. This is the kind of conservative pressure that politicians hope we never recognize. We even did it in the 2010 elections.

    “The church [Which one? He doesn’t say.] also helped in the defense of Phil Robertson.

    “I have been saying since before November 2010 that Real Americans can stop the parasites that want to impose moderate Republican policies on our Country.”

    That’s probably what Massie had in mind before his words “metastasized into a cacophony”. He should see a doctor about that.


    uzza @7,

    They weren’t as scary as the People’s Liberace Army.

  • John Pieret

    People’s Liberace Army

    I am SO stealing that! Take an internet out of petty cash!

  • Reading the whole thing was fun! Like doing a word puzzle. I commented:

    “If objections to the scurrilous injustice meted out to Phil Robertson had

    been left to the media to condemn, I submit Hitler would be wearing an

    overcoat and earmuffs (i.e., hell would have frozen over).”

    In plain English: “If we’d left it up to the media to condemn the objections to how Robertson was treated, hell would have frozen over.”

    I don’t think Mr Massie meant to take the position of CONDEMNING those who, like him, objected to Robertson’s treatment, but that’s what this unnecessarily convoluted sentence actually says.

    Just leaving out “objections to” would at least fix the meaning, though not the bumbling misuse of the saying “when hell freezes over.” It means a particular thing will never occur, in this case, the media defending Robertson. But if Hitler WERE wearing cold-weather garb, that would indicate that hell WOULD freeze over — meaning the media WOULD defend Robertson if left to it. Again, Mr Massie says the OPPOSITE of what he means to communicate.

    Mr Massie, the big words don’t make you look smarter; they make you look like you’re trying way too hard and failing. You obviously watch a lot of courtroom dramas, but using “pursuant” three times in a non-legal context is just ridiculously pretentious.

    This is America; speak English! ; )

  • I think I shall never see

    A group biased as the tea party

    When it’s something they like, no matter how broken

    They swear up and down that the people have spoken

    But if something happens with which they disagree

    It’s the vast world-destroying nazi liberal conspiracy

  • Rick Pikul

    @Artor: It’s not the site, you’re infected with some version of “BetterSurf”. You need to check your add-ons, disable things you didn’t put there, then uninstall those same things through the control panel and finally go and delete them from your program directories.

  • raven

    It’s put links in my own post too. Weight loss & hosting are linked to popup ads now. Does everyone see this, or is there something on my computer that does it?

    Not seeing it.

    You might want to dump your cookies or look for some malware on your system.

  • Oh, my… He’s the same way on Twitter, too! I was just interacting with him there, and he still constructs phrases as though he swallowed a thesaurus!

  • Michael Heath

    Artor writes:

    Does everyone see this, or is there something on my computer that does it?

    I’m not seeing it. I’m using the latest version of Chrome, Version 31.0.1650.63 for Mac OS X. I don’t run any ad-blocker extensions except that I block pop-ups and block Flash content from downloading, neither of which appear relevant to your issue.

    Good luck fixing this. It’d be interesting hearing back from you on what worked if you fix this.

  • Big Boppa

    Looks like someone’s taken a creative writing class at The Learning Annex.

  • DaveL

    Let me attempt a translation:

    People started screaming from every corner of the house, until A&E agreed to put Phil Robertson back on Duck Dynasty. That just goes to show what we can accomplish by throwing tantrums.

  • Artor

    Okay, it’s fixed. Thanks guys, and sorry for disrupting the thread. It was an addon called “Start Savin extension.” I don’t know how it got on there, since I didn’t install anything yesterday when I first noticed problems. I’d already run Norton, Spybot and Malwarebytes, and none of them caught it. It couldn’t be removed from inside Chrome, but I got it out with the Add/Remove Programs utility.

  • *reads*


    *smokes more weed*


    Nope. Still doesn’t make sense.

  • Rick Pikul

    @Artor: Yep, that’s one of the names BetterSurf installs itself under. Remember to also go and delete the program directory, (Add/Remove Programs often doesn’t get it all).

  • Artor, get SpywareBlaster and Spybot S&D. Also, never ever click any links. That’s how it gets you. The Internet, I mean.

  • dingojack

    Dear Mr NSA agent –

    WMD Kitty means (I’m sure) legally obtained Medical Marihuana, for MS*. (or is it CF, I forget now).



    * but I’m really, really not sure what heavy-duty drugs Mr Massie has been taking…. perhaps you ‘friends’ in law enforcement might like to find out.

    [‘friends’, yes in inverted commas, you’re in the NSA you don’t have real friends].

  • Dingo

    It’s Cerebral Palsy and chronic pain.

    As for whatever Mr. Massie has been smoking, I don’t want any.

  • Nemo

    He really does have Big Word Disease. I was once afflicted myself. But I (like to think I) was cured of it back in my BBS days, 20+ years ago. Someone said just the right thing to me, in a single post. I can no longer remember what that was. But I remember what I got out of it: Keep it simple. Your elaborate vocabulary doesn’t necessarily make you sound smart. Making your points persuasively does.

    If you state your case as clearly as possible, and you can’t convince yourself, then you were probably wrong.

  • dingojack

    WMDKitty – I knew it was something that you’d wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy (and that it hurt like hell).

    Sorry for getting it wrong.


  • marcus







    *Was I reading something?*


    Dear Mr NSA Agent : LOL, wut! Love, Colorado.