Defending the Indefensible

Defending the Indefensible July 24, 2014

A guy I know on Google+ posted something about the Amazing Atheist, TJ Kincaid, and I commented and said “let’s hope that this creepy fuckstain called the ‘Amazing Atheist’ doesn’t threaten to rape her as he’s done to more than one woman in the past. You really shouldn’t be promoting a fucking asshole like this.” (Note: Someone pointed out that this could be interpreted wrongly. To make clear, he has threatened rape in the past, not committed it) I was then asked for evidence, which I linked to. Here’s what he wrote in a book:

Rape isn’t fatal. So imagine my indignation when I saw a chatroom called “Rape Survivors.” Is this supposed to impress me? Someone fucked you when you didn’t want to be fucked and you’re amazed that you survived? Unless he used a chainsaw instead of his dick, what’s the big deal? … The word survivor applies to people who are alive after being stabbed 73 times with an ice pick or mauled by rabid wolverines, not to a woman who gets dick when she doesn’t want it. Just because you got raped, you have to rape the English language? You vindictive bitch! Also, don’t you ever get tired of being the victim? How many failed relationships are you going to blame on a single violation of your personal space?

And another one from the same book:

I told her, “You’re lucky it wasn’t me. I’d have busted your fucking nose and raped you.”

And in a men’s rights subreddit:

On February 2012, in a thread on the MensRights subreddit about a disasteful username on a feminist board, he made a “joke” about how he wanted to violently rape one of its users. When he was informed the person in question was an actual rape victim and called out by said person for his abusive language and lack of respect for people with post-traumatic stress disorder, he complained about the very concept of trigger warnings and posted further graphic descriptions of how he would rape her again in a deliberate attempt to make her relive her trauma. Choice statements include “I will make you a rape victim if you don’t fuck off.” and “I think we should give the guy who raped you a medal. I hope you fucking drown in rape semen, you ugly, mean-spirited cow.

So he has threatened to rape multiple women, called rape victims “vindictive bitches” and accuses them of “raping the English language” by calling themselves survivors. To any decent human being, this would seem to be completely indefensible. But that prompted this exchange with a different person in the comments on the Youtube video:

Aside from being an ass at times (can’t say that I am exempt), has he done anything else since the incident in question?

My reply:

Well sure, he’s threatened to rape multiple women and deliberately abused women who have been raped, but he hasn’t done it in a while now, so it’s totally cool.


I recognize people as having melt down moments as well as patterns of behavior. So, the nasty ranting is common for him especially on some topics, but there is usually a line which apparently he crossed then. The question of whether he has lost control since then becomes an issue as well as whether he has any actual reports of violence or purely verbal abuse.

I don’t put anything past anyone. Since, there have been many “really nice guys” that turned out to be rapists.

My reply:

The statement about how rape victims are “raping the language” and are “vindictive bitches” was made in a book. It wasn’t in the course of some angry argument with someone, he sat down and wrote that and edited the book and at no point, apparently, did it occur to him that it was vile and deranged. But even if it did take place in an angry conversation, I just don’t buy this excuse. I’ve been furiously angry at many people in my life; it has never once occurred to me that I should threaten to rape them or to say that the person who actually DID rape them should get a medal. Not once. These excuses simply don’t cut it. He’s a fucking asshole. He’s a repulsive misogynist. And he should be treated as one.

In fact, here’s what he says on the very next page (page 91 of this book):

“I just showed this writing to a friend of mine, along with the question, “Is this too offensive to release?” I was looking for a yes. I got one. So, I’ve included it here. I’m here to cross lines. This is not The Amazing Atheist from those cute little youtube videos you love so much—this is the real me. And the real me doesn’t give a fuck about your small-minded boundaries.

If you’ve been raped, does the above passage add insult to injury? Does it make it hurt worse? How could it? If rape is the paramount psychological trauma in life, then how could my words aggravate it whatsoever?”

And then another person jumped in with this:

Look, I agree, rape jokes are bad. They aren’t funny. The Amazing Atheist can, and has, and probably will, act like a massive douche to people. But he is telling a joke. It’s not funny to you, and it’s definitely not funny to the people he was making fun of, but they aren’t real threats. If the jokes he told caused real trauma, there’s a case to be made. But the second you say “Fuck this guy, I’m out”, he’s gone. He can’t/won’t find you through the interwebs and harass you IRL (and, again, if he did, there’d be a case to be made). Real life is your safe space from him. Jesus, look what you’ve got me doing. I’m writing a whole damn essay defending the Amazing Atheist. Long story short: he’s an asshole, to be sure, but, IMO, a harmless one. And, unfortunately, the only way to avoid the assholes online is to keep your stuff as private as possible or keep it offline entirely. Is that a good way of doing things? No, of course not. I’d love for everybody to be able to share their experiences with others in a safe environment, if that helps them, but that just isn’t how it works at present.

And my reply:

Sorry, I don’t have you doing anything. You’re defending the indefensible all on your own. Don’t blame me for your appalling excuses for this world class asshole’s behavior.

And then from another person:

He may not be an ally of feminism but he’s still a cool entertainer.

*headdesk* I find it absolutely astonishing that anyone could possibly defend this asshole. And if a Christian said things remotely like that, I highly doubt that any of the people defending him would accept “oh it was a joke” or “but he hasn’t done it lately.” This looks a lot like basic tribalism to me — he’s on “our team” so we excuse his behavior. Sorry, he isn’t on my team. He never will be.

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