Steven Seagal Plays Crimea

Steven Seagal Plays Crimea August 14, 2014

Steven Seagal, who apparently pals around with Vladimir Putin, played a concert in Crimea for an even put on by a biker gang (a concert? Jesus, it’s bad enough people would watch his movies. Who the hell would want to hear him sing?). He was his usual ridiculous self:

Seagal performed at a Saturday evening concert during the three-day event, which was organized by the Russian biker gang Night Wolves and held in Sevastopol.

The Kremlin-owned television network RT posted a YouTube video of Seagal at the event telling the crowd “No man has the right to condemn another man for believing what he believes in.”

Really, Steven? How about a Nazi? Do I have the right to condemn a Nazi for believing that Jews should be murdered? Oh wait, I have the right to condemn anyone for any reason and I don’t have to ask you for permission, you pathetic, washed-up, braindead fuckwit.

Oh, and watch this:


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  • whirligig

    Why did you leave out the rest of the quote?

    ““No man has the right to condemn another man for believing what he believes in. But only men. It is well known that sincere beliefs are held in the wang.”

  • John Pieret

    Well, at least we now have another picture to put in the dictionary next to the entry for “buffoon.”

  • Chiroptera

    Russia hates gays but also hates border nations like Ukraine being too close to the West instead of Russia.

    So are they the good guys or the bad guys again? I can’t keep track.

  • dingojack

    If only Steven Segal and Denis Rodman would do a movie together…..




    PS: Any ideas for a title?

  • Reginald Selkirk

    RE the dance video: he moves his hands a lot, but doesn’t seem to realise the feet are also supposed to move.

  • Phillip IV

    Steven Seagal Plays Crimea

    It’s just about the only role he can still get. With the shape he’s in, they just wouldn’t cast him to play anything smaller than a peninsular. And I guess Gerard Depardiéu wasn’t available, his love for Russia notwithstanding…

    (And it’s a really demanding part, too – it’ll be tough to lay still while the charge of the light brigade thunders over him. We are talking about that sort of movie, right?)

  • laurentweppe

    I guess Gerard Depardiéu wasn’t available, his love for Russia notwithstanding…

    Last time I heard about him, he was trying to invest the money he stole from France into a “bio-vodka” factory or something like it.

  • Jeez, that video was painful to watch! Notice how his partner kept her distance? I’m sure she feared a concussion from his flapping clubs.

  • lofgren

    Are you sure he didn’t mean “condemn” as in “condemn to a life in prison?” It seems like he may just be affirming freedom of religion.

  • I watched the video and I have a question. Why was Steven Seagal the only one being attacked by a swarm of angry bees?


  • “PS: Any ideas for a title?”

    “Hard To Kill–and more’s the pity!”


    Do you amember when you said that watching Stevie Seagal run was the most ridiculous thing imaginable? I do. I also amember thinking, “Shit, Ed’s gonna live to regret that remark!”.

  • ““PS: Any ideas for a title?”

    Don’t Crimea For Me, Argentina?

  • The guy’s Aikido waza was mighty sweet, back in the day. But it went the way that such things when one ages.

  • Ichthyic




    I thought he was busy being sheriff in some town in Arizona?

    what in the hell is he doing in the Crimea ffs?

  • jaybee

    Those Disney Imagineers sure are clever. The animatronic Steven Segal is much better than the 1960s presidents exhibit. However, they aren’t quite there yet — Segal still resides in uncanny valley.