Dear God, Thanks for Helping Us Slaughter People

Dear God, Thanks for Helping Us Slaughter People December 1, 2014

Katie Halper last week put everyone in the mood to celebrate Thanksgiving by quoting from some of the Christian leaders who helped kill mass numbers of Native Americans, as they praised the allegedly omni-benevolent and all-loving God for helping them slaughter the “savages.”

In his Brief History of the Pequot War, Captain John Mason, who helped lead the attack, recalls, that he (speaking about himself in the third person as is, apparently, his wont), “immediately stepping into the Wigwam where he had been before, brought out a Fire-Brand, and putting it into the Matts with which they were covered, set the Wigwams on Fire… and when it was throughly kindled, the Indians ran as Men most dreadfully Amazed.” But it was all god’s doing, obviously:

And indeed such a dreadful Terror did the ALMIGHTY let fall upon their Spirits, that they would fly from us and run into the very Flames, where many of them perished… GOD was above them, who laughed his Enemies and the Enemies of his People to Scorn, making them as a fiery Oven: Thus were the Stout Hearted spoiled, having slept their last Sleep, and none of their Men could find their Hands: Thus did the LORD judge among the Heathen, filling the Place with dead Bodies…

In his own arson-based humble-brag News from America, Captain John Underhill agrees that using fire and sneak attack to kill men, women and children, is, actually, a very Christian thing to do. He knows people may think it’s not very Jesus like: “It may bee demanded… (as some have said) should not Christians have more mercy and compassion?” But he’s on top of it:

But I would referre you to Davids warre, when a people is growne to such a height of bloud, and sinne against God and man, and all confederates in the action, there hee hath no respect to persons, but harrowes them, and sawes them, and puts them to the sword, and the most terriblest death that may bee : sometimes the Scripture declareth women and children must perish with their parents. some-time the case alters.

Yes, the Native Americans weren’t just the enemies of the settlers who wanted to kill them, but of God himself. And just like in the Bible, God kills them in the most brutal ways. Praise the lord! Hallelujah! And as she notes, this is just from a single war. One could go on all day long listing similar quotes from virtually every war for 17 or 18 centuries.

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  • busterggi

    Of course native Americans were enemies of god – they were non-white non-Europeans for Christ’s sake!

  • “And all confederates in the action…”

    Darkly funny choice of words there.

  • anubisprime

    “Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius”

    Definition of Christianity in a few words.

  • John Pieret

    Isn’t it miraculous that God always seems to want people to do the very thing that they wanted to do in the first place and which profits them the best?

  • Synfandel

    Isn’t it miraculous that God always seems to want people to do the very thing that they wanted to do in the first place and which profits them the best?

    …even when he had expressly forbidden them to do so in one of his ten commandments.

  • chrislu

    Do more than gloat over these blood soaked antecedents. I contribute to an Indian School, for education seems the best I can give to fulfill my trust and legacy. Starting with the Mayflower, these good christians were my ancestors. And did you see what these denizens of the shining city did to each other? I come down from 35 to 40 soldiers in King Philip’s War, the war whose result is generally accepted as the template for all further American expansion: We want your land. Two options: move on or we kill you. It’s our legacy. Carry on.

  • peterh

    And those devout Mayflower types, in 1683, authorized the attempted capture of William Penn and his “heathen” companions in order to sell them at good profit in the Barbados slave trade.

  • grumpyoldfart

    In Australia the killing of indigenous people continued well into the 20th century. The last big event was the Coniston massacre when more than 100 aboriginals were murdered by police in retaliation for the death of a white man named Frederick Brooks. The campaign lasted for two months from August to September 1928.

    J. C. Cawood, Government Resident in Central Australia, told his departmental secretary, “I am firmly of the opinion that the result of the recent action by the police will have the right effect upon the natives.”

    A Board of Inquiry found that the massacre was fully justified.

    The Northern Territory Times announced that the police were wholly exonerated, and there was no evidence to suggest they had conducted a reprisal or punitive expedition.

    The policeman who led the massacre (Constable William Murray) was still alive in the 1960s.

  • bmiller

    heck, the slaughter arguably continues to this day! Ferguson, MO. And that nefarious young savage who was thankfully taken care of in Cleveland, praise Yahweh!


  • anubisprime

    Hard pressed to find any religious theologian that freely condemns the attempted genocide in the name of their particular god.

    It is wondered if the penchant for bloodshed spilt in their deities honor might be an uncomfortable reminder of the similarity with every other half assed delusion that murder and lie with such certainty and enthusiasm?

  • John Pieret #4,

    Isn’t it miraculous that God always seems to want people to do the very thing that they wanted to do in the first place and which profits them the best?

    Yep. Whenever our church is helping the homeless or feeding the poor in our community I have exactly this thought.

  • U Frood

    when a people is growne to such a height of bloud, and sinne against God and man,

    I wonder what horrible sins against God the Natives had committed? Probably not believing in a God they had never heard of before.

    Or worse, not immediately accepting the Good News. (The Good News being, you’re all sinners and damned to hell, but God will spare you if you believe in his son with no evidence).