Marco Rubio was recently asked if he would attend the wedding of a loved one who was gay and marrying someone of the same gender. He gave an entirely reasonable answer that you take part in such events for those you love even if you think they’re making a bad choice:
“If there’s somebody that I love that’s in my life, I don’t necessarily have to agree with their decisions or the decisions they’ve made to continue to love them and participate in important events,” he told the interviewer, Jorge Ramos. “Ultimately, if someone that you care for and is part of your family has decided to move in one direction or another or feels that way because of who they love, you respect that because you love them,” he said.
Rubio compared it to attending “second marriages” after divorce, which the Catholic Church teaches are attempts to consecrate adultery. “If someone gets divorced, I’m not going to stop loving them or having them a part of our lives,” he said.
Maggie Gallagher said that Rubio answered that question with “great dignity and kindness.” And then she offers her answer, which contains neither of those things:
Here’s what I think. We are born male and female, and marriage is the union of husband to wife that celebrates the necessity of the two genders’ coming together to make the future happen. I know you don’t think that. I know the law no longer thinks that. But I have staked my life on this truth.
The problem for me in celebrating your gay wedding, as much as I love you, is that I would be witnessing and celebrating your attempt not only to commit yourself to a relationship that keeps you from God’s plan but, worse, I would be witnessing and celebrating your attempt to hold the man you love to a vow that he will avoid God’s plan. To vow oneself to sin is one thing, to try to hold someone you love to it — that’s not something I can celebrate.
And I would be party to the idea that two men can make a marriage, which I do not believe.
On your happy day you should be surrounded by people who can honor your vow and help you keep it. I can’t do that.
“Porneia” is a word in the Bible that has been much mistranslated. But I think it means a sexual relationship that cannot by its nature become a marriage. That’s why Christ said that marriage is forever, unless it is porneia.
I understand that you might well want to rupture our friendship over this, my honest view. I choose to love you both and keep you in my life.
But let us somehow against all odds find a way to love each other as we are, and not how each of us would wish the other to be.
I know that sounds like kindness. It pretends to be kindness. But it is anything but. You can’t just say flowery words and expect to be taken seriously when your actions belie those words. Does Gallagher also refuse to go to the weddings of divorced people? I highly doubt it. Does she refuse to go to the weddings of those from different religions? I highly doubt it. Does she refuse to go the weddings of people who commit any of the thousands of “sins” mentioned in the Bible? Of course not. So she is, in fact, singling out gay people for her judgment. Despite all the pretense of love and caring, she is motivated by bigotry. And there is no kindness in bigotry.