I know this is the atheist channel and all, but sometimes I come across something that makes me think there may be a god and that she loves me very much. Like when Donald Trump decided to run for president, supplying me with an endless string of dumb statements to make fun of. Well now she’s at it again with the news that Josh Duggar, formerly of the Family Research Council, had an account at Ashley Madison seeking women who were not his wife to do ungodly things to one another.
Coincidentally, that was the month it was also revealed that as a teenager he molested two of his sisters and a family friend. Some of the things he was looking for in a mistress:
In 2013, conservative reality TV star Josh Duggar—of TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting fame—was named the executive director of the Family Research Council, a conservative lobbying group in D.C. which seeks “to champion marriage and family as the foundation of civilization, the seedbed of virtue, and the wellspring of society.” During that time, he also maintained a paid account on Ashley Madison, a web site created for the express purpose of cheating on your spouse…
But data released online in the wake of the hack on Ashley Madison’s servers certainly seems to show otherwise. Someone using a credit card belonging to a Joshua J. Duggar, with a billing address that matches the home in Fayetteville, Arkansas owned by his grandmother Mary—a home that was consistently shown on their now-cancelled TV show, and in which Anna Duggar gave birth to her first child—paid a total of $986.76 for two different monthly Ashley Madison subscriptions from February of 2013 until May of 2015.
“Conventional Sex,” Experimenting with Sex Toys,” One-Night Stands,” “Open to Experimentation,” “Gentleness,” “Good With Your Hands,” Sensual Massage,” “Extended Foreplay/Teasing,” “Bubble Bath for 2,” “Likes to Give Oral Sex,” “Likes to Receive Oral Sex,” “Someone I Can Teach,” “Someone Who Can Teach Me,” “Kissing,” “Cuddling & Hugging,” “Sharing Fantasies,” “Sex Talk.”
To be fair, though, I’m sure this is all the fault of The Gay. He didn’t want to have an affair on his wife, but then gay people started getting married and it ruined the sanctity of his own marriage and this was the result. I think I’ll send him a bouquet of condoms and amyl nitrate poppers to console him.