Huckabee Bravely Offers What He Knows Can’t Happen

Huckabee Bravely Offers What He Knows Can’t Happen September 9, 2015

Mike Huckabee is an incredibly courageous man. During a rally for Kim Davis when she was released from jail on Tuesday, he bravely offered to take Davis’ place if Judge Bunning decides to send her back to jail for continuing to refuse to comply with his order to allow marriage licenses to be issued to same-sex couples. He did so while safe in the knowledge that this can’t actually happen, of course.

“I have a message for the judge,” Huckabee proclaimed, “and I say this with all my heart: If this judge believes that somebody must be put in jail because a person is willing to stand on the biblical definition of marriage … Let Kim go, but if you have to put someone in jail, I volunteer to go. Let me go. Lock me up if you think that’s how freedom is best served.”

“I am willing to spend the next eight years in the White House leading this country,” he thundered, “but I want you to know, I’m willing to spend the next eight years in jail but I’m not willing to spend one day under the tyranny of people who believe they can take our freedom and conscience away!”

I am so inspired by Huckabee’s bravery that I hereby volunteer to lead the soldiers into battle when the country of Andorra invades the United States. I also volunteer to test drive the first working perpetual motion machine. Brave, I am.

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