Ted Cruz Gets an Exorcism!

Ted Cruz Gets an Exorcism! February 9, 2016

Okay, this is absolutely hilarious. A couple guys in Texas interrupted one of Ted Cruz’ campaign speeches to attempt to perform an exorcism on him because he’s possessed by demons. What makes it all the funnier is that it’s people like Cruz who believe in such utter nonsense in the first place.


Ted Cruz had just started delivering his stump speech at a tavern when two young men interrupted, wielding mirrors and a wooden cross.

“Ted Cruz look in the mirror and let the evil spirit depart!” said one of the men, shouting, “He’s possessed by a demon!”

People began booing. Cruz made a quip about the Bernie Sanders campaign trying to disrupt him. The man and his less theatrical partner kept on, as a policeman shooed them toward an exit at Tuckaway Tavern and Butchery.

“He’s possessed by a demon! The demon has to leave. That’s why the body is so disgusting to look at!” the man said. Why the mirror? So “the evil can confront itself. Evil body! Evil spirit. Look yourself in the mirror!” he shouted.

Reporters followed them to the door, pressing for their names, which they declined to give. As performance artists they stayed in character – the character being that of agitated, nauseated exorcist.

“We just had to get rid of the evil spirit. I hope it works,” the man said, acting as though a belch or barf were building. “He’s very hard to be in the same room with. We had to exorcise some sort of disgusting evil spirit. There’s a reason that the body is so haggard and disgusting, and the face, and it’s all so weathered and gross and hard to look at.

Slow clap. Well played, sirs. Well played.

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