Kerr Orders Snowstorm on East Coast to Put Out California Wildfires

Kerr Orders Snowstorm on East Coast to Put Out California Wildfires November 16, 2018

Having failed to stop every single natural disaster she and the 30 billion angels under her command have “taken authority” over, “weather warrior” Kat Kerr is nothing if not dogged. She is now ordering the snowstorms happening on the East coast to move all the way across the country to put out the wildfires in California.

“We command [the hosts of heaven] to get in there and break up those fires,” Kerr declared. “We command a low pressure system to come. Why do I say that? Because a low pressure system brings rain and we need rain in that part of the country right now … We command them to begin to fizzle, to go out, let the oxygen be removed from the fire itself but not from any of the surrounding atmosphere.”

“We command the low pressure system to begin to form in California over those fires and let it rain and rain and rain until those fires are put out and nothing will even be smoking, not even embers,” Kerr ordered, as she then instructed Winter Storm Avery to change direction and head toward California. “We’re hitting that weather system from where it’s placed right now, we hit it to go west, we’re going to go all the way west to California and cover that area. We command that low pressure system involved in that icy storm to go and help to put the fires out.”

I’m sure that’ll do it. I can feel the jet stream reversing itself — nay, the very rotation of the earth is turning in the other direction now, driving snowy conditions out to California. Rest easy, people in the path of the fire, for your hero has arrived!

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