Our favorite “prophet,” Cindy Jacobs and her husband Mike were on the Jim Bakker show this week and talked how about Trump was the most godly president we’ve ever had, and they urged Christians to pray for Trump to defeat the “supernatural” forces aligned against them or else the Bible will be outlawed very soon.
“I pray every day for them,” said Cindy Jacobs. “The Bible commands us to do that. I pray that God will give him wisdom … I pray for his protection. I pray for peace for him. I pray that God will give his mind peace.”
“It’s supernatural, what he is taking,” responded Lori Bakker. “It really is. How he is standing and how he just keeps railing back. It is incredible.”
“He listens to godly counsel,” Mike Jacobs interjected. “He far surpasses most [previous Republican presidents] in terms of the godly counsel he has around him, that he listens to … Who ever would have thought that we would have a president who so surrounds himself with godly counsel? There is a blessing that comes from that.”“We’re seeing him become more and more godly,” Cindy Jacobs replied. “We’re seeing him want to put Bible reading back in school. Come on. Bible reading back in school and prayer?”
“All the things that have been stolen from the church, he’s wanting to restore,” said Jim Bakker. “He’s wanting to restore the dignity and power to the church and not take the Bible away. We’re so close—they don’t get this—but we’re so close to the Bible being illegal.”
And if that happens, you better have buckets full of Bakker’s day-glo mac and cheese and other survival supplies. Hey, wait a minute. Remember when Cindy Jacobs claimed that God gave her a miraculously bottomless bowl of spaghetti? Bakker should market that instead. You’d only need one bucket and it would never go empty. Oh wait…that means he wouldn’t be able to make money by selling them a metric ton of the stuff, so we know that isn’t gonna happen.