Wingnut Blames Midwest Floods on Kushner, Israel Peace Plan

Wingnut Blames Midwest Floods on Kushner, Israel Peace Plan July 4, 2019

End times crackpot Jan Markell doesn’t understand why we’re still having natural disasters like the devastating floods in the Midwest when God should be showering us with favor for electing his chosen one, Donald Trump. Fellow crackpot William Koenig has the answer — it’s all the fault of Jared Kushner and his Middle East peace plan.

Markell was a little confused about why God would send such devastating floods to America, given that President Trump is regularly hailed by conservative Christians for his staunch support for Israel, and asked Koening to explain what was going on.

“I’ve noticed in my studies and history of documenting all these events, when we’ve had Midwestern floods, that’s been the period of the most active effort in the peace process,” Koening responded. “There’s been five different summers over the last 27 years that there has been massive flooding and at the very time, our White House administrations were very active in the peace process.”

“This last month, the month of May, had 500 tornadoes, record floods, record storms, and [Jared] Kusher was very active,” Koening continued. “He was in Jerusalem, he was in Brussels, he was having meetings with Middle East leaders in preparation for the January 25-26 conference in Bahrain. So his whole month of May was very active … and all of this was taking place in the heartland of America as the heartland of Israel was being discussed.”

The thing about these “God is punishing us for (fill in the blank)” claims is that you can fill in the blank with virtually anything. You just spin the big wheel of whatever is going on that you don’t like and declare that God agrees with you and is willing to kill people to send a message. Voila.

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