I Get Email

I Get Email November 25, 2019

I’ve long said that there’s a part of me that feels a bit left out when my friends like Mikey Weinstein get so much idiotic hate mail. I mean, I deserve some too, don’t I? Well I got an email from Christian fascist Theodore Shoebat and I’ve had a bit of fun with it. I’m cleaning up some of my language to comply with Patheos guidelines. His first email:

Your article on me and what I said about Miller is obviously inept and I can tell it was lazily done. If you want to discuss this with me, then lets talk by phone or skype. It will be recorded.

Theodore Shoebat

My first response, cleaned up a bit:

Ha. You’re a totalitarian asshole. I’d rather discuss things with a houseplant; at least they don’t want to murder people I care about.

And then his second response, in which he went full-on Trump with 13 year old insults:

“You’re a totalitarian asshole.”

You’re stupid enough to think that this is an actual insult.

“I’d rather discuss things with a houseplant”.

I know the feeling, but it is different with us. With us, at least a houseplant is slim, tender and healthy. You however look like your fat mama took a field trip to the zoo and she had a one night stand with a wild bore and then out of desperado she was seconded by a hippopotamus. She had pain consummating you and extra pain popping your fat carcass out.

And now the fact is this: it was YOU who challenged our essay about Miller. We never paid any attention to some homeless SOB until he was bothered by us.

Are you begging for attention?

Bottom line: the reason why you don’t want to discuss is because you know you will get Khazouked.

Now go look up that word and you will find out more about your mama.

hehehehehehe

Theo

My response, put here instead of sent to him:

Your mama jokes? You’re fat jokes? Are you 12, for crying out loud? That’s the best you can come up with? Not a hint of substance. Did I say one thing that was untrue? Do you not want to slaughter gay people? I quoted you saying so, which you do constantly. I could also quote you advocating the murder of lots of other groups as well. If you advocate genocide, whether you do so in the name of God or not, that makes you a totalitarian. And yes, to any moral and rational person, that IS an insult. But unlike your childish taunting, it’s an insult that actually means something.

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