I’ve been following Jesus for many years. Sometimes the road is smooth, well-lit by the light God provides. Other times the road is rocky, difficult, and dark. Always in the shadows looms the specter of depression. I haven’t dealt with major clinical depression since 1998, but there are still times when the melancholy is real.
Following Jesus in Spite of Stigma
Almost seven years ago, the organizers of a conference called Shattering Stigma with Stories: Mental Health and the Church asked me to be part of a panel of speakers who had experienced post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I felt honored by the invitation and worked hard to prepare what I would share with the attendees.
It seems weird, but I was excited about telling my story of having endured trauma and struggled with symptoms of PTSD and depression as a result. My excitement stemmed from knowing that God uses my story to shine a light on the truth about people with mental illnesses. That truth is that they—we—are loved by God. He desires to step into our circumstances and bring hope and healing. God wants us to be a part of His Church and He expects His Church to minister to us in the midst of our struggles and pain.
He expects us to show the scars of the wounds He has healed so that others may find healing, too.
Jesus Orchestrates Coincidences
The room buzzed with energy and perhaps a little anxiety. I sat in the back with my friend Sheila who had come to support me with encouragement and prayer. I told her she didn’t have to come, that I’d be fine if she couldn’t make it. But she insisted.
After the first speaker, I scanned the room. I like to people watch, and this was an interesting crowd.
That’s when I spotted him sitting on the far side of the room. The last time I’d seen Scott was at his going away party at work, right before he and his wife went to China to teach English. I thought he was still abroad.
I’d known Scott a long time. We were law school classmates over 30 years ago and had worked together for several years. But he didn’t have even an inkling of the story I planned to tell that afternoon.
Holy Spirit Intercession
My heart raced as panic set in. I had always kept my spiritual and ministry life separate from my professional life. Those worlds were about to collide and my mind scrambled for a way out.
Sheila could tell that something was wrong. “Let’s pray,” she said.
I didn’t even know what to pray. What could possibly fix this looming disaster?
Sheila reminded me the answer was not what, but Who. “In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words” Romans 8:26 (NASB).
Then Sheila and the Holy Spirit interceded for me.
Following Jesus in Spite of Fear
That afternoon, I followed Jesus onto the stage and took my seat with the other panelists. When my turn came, I shared what I had prayerfully prepared. I told about the rape that had triggered my PTSD, the way I had used drugs and alcohol to deaden the pain, and how God had helped me overcome the worst of my symptoms and find peace. I didn’t leave anything out.
During the next break I stood talking to a friend. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Scott making a beeline toward me from across the room. I would have run but for the Holy Spirit’s calming presence.
When he reached me, Scott shook my hand and said, “I have always admired you. Now I admire you even more.”
The worst I had feared did not come to pass. The story I shared offered hope to others I never even knew needed it.
The Long and Winding Road
Following Jesus is seldom an easy road. Jesus warned His disciples:
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
(John 16:33 NIV) (emphasis added).
This warning applies to all who follow Him. We will face trouble. The road we travel with Him is long and winding; there are potholes and broken bridges; there are obstacles only He can get us over.
But because He has overcome the world, there are also blessings along the way. I have found that focusing on gratitude for those blessings, instead of grumbling because of the troubles, makes all the difference. It is like night driving by the light of the full moon, instead of in the pouring rain on a moonless night.
A Journey of Hope
When we follow Jesus, we travel a journey of hope. He is the Resurrection and the Life, and He promises eternal life to those who believe and follow Him. “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Corinthians 4:17 NIV).
As you face the next pothole on your journey, remember Jesus walks with you and focus on the destination. And when the road is simply too hard to bear, let Him carry you. If you see a friend struggling, carry them to Jesus. Which reminds me of this poem I wrote for a dear friend struggling with depression. I hope it blesses you as it did him.
Let Me Carry You
You lie alone broken and weak
Unsure if you will make it through
Seeing a future dark and bleak
To Jesus let me carry youYour daily troubles set in stone
Seem heavy with unchanging hue
And though you think you’re all alone
To Jesus I will carry youYou struggle to remember love
Ev’ry feeling painfully blue
I will bring God’s grace from above
To Jesus let me carry you
Closing Prayer on Following Jesus
Heavenly Father, thank You for Your Son who bids us follow Him. May each person reading this article be blessed by the knowledge that You do not ask us to walk the long and winding road of faith alone. Grant peace, comfort, hope, and healing to those struggling today. Whether the obstacles we face are mental illness, loss, sickness, or financial troubles, You are with us and long to help us overcome. Help us to see our current troubles as light and momentary because of the cross and Your promise of eternal life. In Jesus’s name, amen.
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