Early Warning Signs of Adult Onset Calvinism

Early Warning Signs of Adult Onset Calvinism October 11, 2015

Stephen Altrogge of The Blazing Center has a whimsical piece on Early Warning Signs of Adult Onset Calvin.

Among the symptoms of AOC are:

  • A strange and inexplicable ability to listen to 300 John Piper sermons in a single day.
  • A burning passion to convert everyone, especially your extremely godly parents WHO TAUGHT YOU THE BIBLE, to Calvinism.
  • Constant cravings for cigars and microbrews, even though they make you incredibly sick.
  • An unshakeable conviction that Tim Keller is too theologically soft.
  • Growing a beard, but not in a hipster way! This beard is WAY DIFFERENT from hipster beards, because it tapers to a point somewhere between the nipples, just like Calvin’s beard did.

Read the whole post to see more!


Browse Our Archives