A New Tool in Pastoral Care for Seminary Students

As a lecturer in a theological college, I’m constantly worried about my students, and always wondering how I can provide meaningful pastoral care for them during their studies.

I frequently have students coming to my office feeling anxious, afraid, angry, or aggrieved.

In any given week, I will have a 19 year old young man come to my office, and pour out his heart or his beef with me. Usually on a number of repeated topics:

The college’s draconian policy that he turn up to classes on time.
The unrealistic expectation that he submit essays on time and in the proper format.
The circle of shame which surrounds him whenever he falls asleep in chapel.
The injustice of having to do readings and activities which do not count towards his final grade.
The tyrannical rector who insists that he turns up to church half an hour early to set up the chairs and tables.
The insensitivity of deans in scheduling exams during the football play offs.
The laziness of his mother who refuses to do anything for him other than proof read his essays and compile his bibliography.
The complete disregard by the college and his girlfriend to respect his XBox 360 time.
The constant intrusion of college emails and notices into his precious time about things he finds irrelevant (like the date for graduation).
The orwellian prohibition on using social media in the classroom.
The incompetency of the librarian to put all of the college’s books and journal articles on-line so he doesn’t have to go to the library.
The pressure of balancing study with friends, video games, sleeping in, watching TV, dating girls from the church youth group, and doing whatever he likes whenever he likes.

Let it be said, being a student is a hard life, and we need to keep such people in our prayers.

To help students cope with this high stress and high pressure environment, I have found a magical elixir that will give students such as these the strength they need to cope with the struggles and injustices of their life.

The label says, “Toughen Up Princess.” And it is so hot it could kill a small child. I just ordered a crate of this stuff and I will be dispensing it over the coming semester!

Disclaimer: This is humor. I am fully aware that some students do have legitimate stresses, various personal needs, competing responsibilities, and mental health issues, I’m not disparaging those, but I am poking fun at the stereo-type of the molly-coddled  man-child who refuses to grow up. This is humor.