Things to Do at ETS/IBR/SBL (2019)

Okay, for my annual list of “things to do” this biblical studies conference season.

ETS

Don’t forget to wear your MAGA hats: Make Anglicanism Great Again!

Buy the DVD version of The New Testament in its World, apparently I’m better in person than print.

Get some fish tacos. Gaslamp district, seriously, they are delicious. You need FOMO on this.

If you meet my wife Naomi, you can ask her why she married me and how she copes with being married to me.

Make all of the ladies feel welcomed! Don’t assume they are someone’s wife, don’t’ ask them where their husband teachers. ETS needs and wants more female presenters.

Whatever you do, don’t vote Mariam Kovalishyn for ETS president, I have reasons to suspect she might be a Russian asset.

My birthday is before ETS this year, but I still expect presents:

# 1 is a T-Shirt with a picture of Russell Moore on it saying “Southern Baptist Deep State.”

# 2 is people taking selfies with me wearing an Anglican MAGA hat.

IBR

Hit the Friday night lecture with Prof. Craig A. Evans on “When Abiathar was High Priest”: Is the Reading in Mark 2:26 an Error? Observations on Pre-Text Textual Criticism”  with responses from Dr. Elizabeth Shively and Dr. Karl Kutz.

Wish I was going, but I can’t, so if you are anatomically qualified then try “Breakfast for Women Scholars” 7:30–8:45 a.m. on Saturday 23 Nov in room Sapphire D (4th Level) Hilton Bayfront.

Pick up a copy of Trinity without Hierarchy from Kregel and you’ll have one of the bestselling books about the Trinity for 2019.

IBR worship on Sunday 24 No vat 7:30 to 8:45 a.m. where even Baptist can enjoy some guilt-free liturgy.

SBL

Don’t forget your QR code, otherwise SBL cannot track your movements, purchases, or relationship status.

If you see my wife Naomi, please do not ask her if she is in a forced marriage, Homeland already questioned her on this.

Go to the Zondervan booth and purchase New Testament in its World in hardcover. Buy quickly, available conference copies will be limited!  Who knows, maybe Tom and I will sign it for you (will increase resale value on ebay!).

If you see Dr. Chris Porter in the hotel lobby, do not ask him to get you some towels for your room, he’s a young scholar not a bell boy. (FYI, this actually happened to him once!).

Don’t get lost and mistake the San Diego Zoo for AAR/SBL, I know they both have strange and exotic inhabitants, who communicate with obscure signs, but they are not the same thing.

If you see Chris Tilling, please correct his pronunciation of Kirkegaard.

Attend the session on Nijay Gupta’s book on Paul and the Language of Faith on Monday, Nov 25, 9:00 a.m.-11:30 a.m.

Give Mike Bird a birthday present consisting of a Pete Buttigieg 2020 baseball hat.

Go for a run along the Marina, it’ll be fun, refreshing, and help you to make room for all the reception food you’ll be consuming.

Wear your Lacrosse uniform for the mad, crazy, and violent dash to get the discounted book sales on the Tuesday of SBL.