How to Respond to the Court’s Same-Sex Marriage Ruling

No one likes to be on the losing side. In the case of same-sex marriage, it is likely to go especially badly for the losers – hostility, reprisals, social ostracism, and a loss of career prospects are just a few of the possible consequences. It might seem easiest for sexual traditionalists at this point just to slink away and hide, hoping that a same-sex marriage side that is flush with victory will not be vengeful to the losers. Life is hard and there are lots of times in its course when it seems easiest just to quit struggling, to give up, and to let the waves of fate wash us up on some random seashore.

But today is not the day to slink away and hide. As a Christian I believe that the truths of Scripture remain true in spite of the decisions of human courts. As a Christian I am confident that I know the final outcome of the human story – an outcome in which the truths of a loving God will triumph over the annals of human sin and misery. Countless times in history we have, collectively, rejected the truths of natural morality and of Scripture and have found that things have gone badly for us. Countless times in history, whole cultures have thought that they could discard longstanding moral principles – just throwing it all out – and they have found instead that it was their own flourishing that suffered. Think of the French Revolution, or of Lenin’s Russia, or of Mao Zedung’s abolition of private property in China in the 1940s and 50s. In all of these cases people eagerly and joyously threw out timeless moral truths, and found very quickly that things went badly for them.

So what exactly is today a time for?

1) First, today is a day for grace and kindness. It is important for us to remember the reasons why we are supporters of heterosexual marriage. I am not a supporter of heterosexual marriage because I am trying to impose some constrictive set of moral beliefs upon persons who I hope will suffer under the yoke. Far from it, in fact. Instead, I am a supporter of heterosexual marriage because I am confident that it is a better way of life, a way of life that will lead to greater flourishing for those persons who live in accordance with it. I am a supporter of heterosexual marriage precisely because I want the best for persons who are on the same-sex marriage side, precisely because I want them to flourish, and precisely because I know that that flourishing will come from a life in accordance with timeless sexual truths. Thus, it is because I believe in grace and kindness for persons on the same-sex marriage side that I am a heterosexual marriage supporter.

Every sin seems sweet for a season. And right now it seems very sweet to a lot of persons to run full-speed after this fun and trendy same-sex marriage movement, sampling the exotic sexual delights along the way. But at the end of this road, a road that rejects the timeless moral truths, there is going to be a lot of misery. And I don’t want that misery to fall upon persons on the same-sex marriage side. Instead, out of grace and kindness, what I want for persons on that side is that they would experience the fullness of life that is possible for those who accept timeless sexual constraints. True freedom is not the ability to indulge in our bodily desires. Rather, true freedom is freedom from slavery to sin.

So, it is out of grace and kindness that I am a heterosexual marriage supporter – it is because of my desire for the flourishing of persons on the same-sex marriage side. I do not agree with the sexual revisionists, but I certainly can continue to be gracious and kind to them.

2) Today is also a day for courage. Let’s face it. As a culture the United States is now embarked upon a great sexual experiment. No culture (to my knowledge) in human history prior to the year 2000 ever defined marriage as anything else than a union of a man and a woman. And a lot of persons in this new and radical sexual movement are going to be out for revenge against the sexual traditionalists. There are reasons for the traditionalists to be cowardly at this time. Capitulation to the new sexual norms will mean social acceptance, a cessation of persecution, and no more raised eyebrows at the water cooler. But it will also mean living with oneself, knowing that one was a capitulator. “I changed my longstanding moral views for the sake of the advancement of my career” is a thought that I do not want to have to share with my grandchildren when I am 65. “I had the courage to stand up for what I believed, in spite of the pragmatic costs” is a thought that will make me more comfortable in 35 years. Live your life with courage – and with no regrets.

As a Christian, when I open my Bible I find countless passages in which the saints of yesterday were courageous in the face of opposition. Much of that opposition was far greater than what sexual traditionalists face today.

Joshua 1:9 – “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Speaking for myself, I can say with confidence that I will not be shutting up anytime soon about the timeless moral truths. As Father Richard Neuhaus once said, in a different context, “We know the justice of our cause, we trust in the faithfulness of [God’s] promise, and therefore we shall not weary, we shall not rest.” So have courage!

3) Finally, today is a day for thanksgiving. We can be thankful that we live in a society that provides so much latitude for disagreement with the new sexual majority. I know, of course, that nowadays the view of many persons is that the sexual revolution ought to trump our longstanding religious freedoms. Sometimes they even say that the First Amendment does not guarantee freedom of religion at all – it merely guarantees ‘freedom of worship.’ This may be a rather cynical view, but I take ‘freedom of worship’ to mean religion that is wholly privatized and that makes no claim to public importance. The ‘freedom of worship’ of such persons might mean no more protection for religious views than, say, the ice cream consumer receives for his consumption of ice cream in his home.

Fortunately, even in spite of the Supreme Court’s decision in the recent Obergefell case, there were a lot of provisions in Justice Kennedy’s decision that allowed for religious freedom. This is no time to panic. The same Supreme Court, in the 2014 case Burwell vs. Hobby Lobby, ruled that the religious freedom provisions in the ‘Religious Freedom Restoration Act’ of the early 1990s protect in abundant ways the right of businesses to restrict their health care coverage for the sake of their religious convictions. In the 2014 cases, the owners of Hobby Lobby and Conestoga Woods argued that they could not abide by certain provisions in the government’s Affordable Care Act which mandated that they had to pay for health coverage for abortifacient for their workers. The gist of the Hobby Lobby opinion is just this: “No matter how much I might disagree with your religious views, nevertheless I feel so strongly about the correctness of your right to hold those views that I am willing to protect and cherish them in the law.” And that certainly is a reason to be thankful.

What the 2014 Hobby Lobby ruling suggests to me is that even if things continue to get difficult in the years to come for sexual traditionalists, nevertheless the sense of fairness in America’s judicial ranks continues to be strong. Religious freedom is still strong in the United States, even in spite of the increasing hostility to traditional sexual values. There is no reason to be worried at this point.

Don’t panic. Instead, be gracious, have courage, and be thankful.