Want To Get Out Of The Triangle With Politics?

You may have seen my blog challenging you to stop consuming two types of news, and then to add in a daily dose of creativity creativity. (Here’s that post.)

I took my own advice. I stopped watching Rachel Maddow, and I stopped reading Huffington Post.

What a relief.

I added in creative time nearly every day. I painted watercolors, I played my guitar, went to Paint ‘n Sip at the BC3. Here’s my painting:

We went to the new Boulder Michael’s craft store and wandered around, basking in the absolute wealth of creative possibilities. I bought a book called “The Steal Like An Artist Journal,” then two little notebooks that I could carry with me for any ideas that might pop up.

I had a blast.

It’s like a dammed up river of aliveness started to flow again.

So…

Interested? Are you ready to take your power back from the outer world, become your own authority again?

Here’s one pathway.

GETTING OUT OF THE KARPMAN DRAMA TRIANGLE* WITH POLITICS

Especially with (List name: __________)

Step One:

Notice where you are in the triangle. Are you the:

Victim? (Believing that you are at the effect of what is going on; being stuck in fear or grief.)

Hero? (Taking more than 100% responsibility for what is happening, and viewing yourself as a potential martyr/savior.)

Villain? (Blaming others; feeling self-righteous; feeling contempt.)

Step Two:

Decide: Are you willing to get out of the triangle? (If not, hang out in Step One as long as you want to. Accept that you’re stuck and that you’re choosing to stay stuck.)

Step Three:

Notice your sensations. (The ones in your body.) This is simple; don’t overthink it. Is your chest tight? Your jaw clenched? Your stomach in a knot?

Step Four:

Now connect the sensations to basic emotions: Mad/sad/glad/scared/sexual. Hints: If you have tension in your head/jaw/shoulders/fists, that’s probably anger. A lump in your throat or heaviness in your chest: Sadness. Tight chest, butterflies or nausea in your stomach? Likely fear. Streams of energy moving through your body? Glad/sexual.

Fill in this sentence: I feel [mad/sad/glad/scared/sexual].

Step Five:

FEEL WHAT YOU’RE FEELING.

Don’t rush it. Put your awareness on the sensations and breath through the waves as they intensify, crescendo, and move through your body. THIS STEP IS ESSENTIAL. Take your time.

Step Six: (You’re almost there!)

Do whatever you can to keep shifting your physiology. Breathe, move, dance, sing, whistle, laugh, play. Come back into your body.

Welcome home…

Step Seven:

Answer this question: What do you really want?

Really want. The bottom line. Not: “I want him to be impeached.” Or “I want this nightmare to be over.” (Can you feel the pull right back into the triangle?) More like: “I want to feel peaceful.” Or “I want to live in a world that is just.” This might be challenging, to find what you do want, and not just focus on what you don’t want. Take your time. When you find it, you’ll feel a sense of having landed in your truth.

Step Eight:

Turn your want into a commitment: “I commit to creating peace.” “I commit to being the Source of justice.”

Step Nine (this is it!)

Connect an easy, fun, pleasurable action step to your commitment. Something like: “By tonight, I’ll find a poem about peace and write it down.” Or “Tomorrow morning I’ll meditate on being a Source of justice.”

Here’s an example:

“I can’t believe what he did this time! That [executive order/appointment/tweet] is ridiculous! He’s a warmongering, narcissistic, sexist pig. Who knows what this might lead to!

The triangle?? Huh. Welll, I guess I’m in the Victim position. And, ok, maybe the Villain. I wish I knew how to be the Hero! What? That’s not a good thing??
Am I willing to get out of the triangle? Is this a TRICK?? I must resist!! [Sigh…] OK, yes, I guess. I’m willing.
My sensations? Who CARES when we might be having a nuclear war!! Oh geez. My jaw is tight. I feel nauseous. My stomach hurts. My heart hurts.
I feel MAD! Oh, and really, really scared. And, oh, that’s weird; I feel sad, too.
Feel this??! What’s that going to do??? All right, I said I was willing. I’m feeling MAD! [Growl, howl, push.] There’s a whole bunch of heat going through my face and up my head. And scared, terrified, really. Now I really feel like throwing up. But it’s starting to pass through. Huh, I feel more open now. And sad…yeah, I’ve been sad for awhile. As I notice that, my heart feels like there’s an arrow in it. And as I breathe, it relaxes.
I’m taking deep breaths, moving around. Putting on some dance music. Wiggling, shaking, even undulating. [Note that right now you might be feeling pretty darn good; you might have a thought that interrupts the flow, like “But he’s a maniac!” If so, go back to step 2.]
Let’s see, what I really want: I want equal justice for all. I want to believe there’s a way through this…I want to feel safe. I guess what I really want is to stop feeling scared.
I commit to feeling my feelings all the way through.
My action: Print this out and do this process one more time when I feel triggered.

That’s it. That’s the way to step out of the triangle. How do you feel?

A final note: Understand that, for most humans, life is the triangle. If you’re living outside the triangle, others might feel uncomfortable and want you to come back in with them. Keep an eye out for that. It will be easy to recognize: If you start moving back into the triangle, you’ll feel adrenalized and kind of icky, while shifting back out will feel like a relief to your nervous system and body. (Being in = Crappyland; being out = Happyland.) It might feel strange to feel that good when those around you aren’t. But that’s a blog for another day.

Meanwhile, I can attest: it feels good out here! Come join me!

Want more help in getting out of the triangle with politics, politicians, your fellow citizens, family, or significant other? Join me for Conscious Relationship Essentials at the Omega Institute May 26-29. Info here.

Want to get out of the Triangle with politics?