Committing to life

Katie Hendricks just spent the weekend here in Boulder, spreading her wisdom to the BC3 and beyond. I’m fascinated and grateful that, even after 17 years of learning from Katie, whenever I’m with her I discover the next profound idea that takes me to a new place in my life.

This time she said this: “As humans, our challenge is no longer the threats we’re defending against. It’s how we’re defending against life.”

I’ve rolled that around for the past few days, wondering about its power. I see how sometimes I shrink back, shut down against life. I fear its unpredictability and lack of control; I don’t want to feel loss, or pain, or anger; I push back when something is happening that I think shouldn’t be happening.

The last couple of days have been full of those very kinds of experiences I’ve defended against at other times. Our beloved kitty has disappeared and is likely dead from an encounter with a wild animal. I left my wallet in Katie’s car, a rental that is who knows where right now. I could feel the pull to defend against these experiences, to rail against them or me for being wrong and bad. I didn’t want to face into the emptiness of our house without Shadow. I don’t want to feel the messiness of my missing wallet.

Katie said, “You know, life lives us. It’s a never-ending energy that fills us out from the inside, takes us wherever it’s going.” It’s a mighty river that calls to us to jump in and get pulled along.

So–I commit to LIFE. With all of its chaos, all that it means. To feeling the biggest emotions, to participating with the most painful and most sublime experiences.

How about you? Do you commit to life?