“Purity Culture” Is Not So Pure – A Book Review

Recovering from Purity Culture

In “Recovering from Purity Culture,” Camden Morgante, a licensed clinical psychologist addresses the teachings and unintended consequences of the so-called “purity culture,” an evangelical movement that focuses on convincing Christian youth to avoid premarital sex. Morgante explains that the messaging went far beyond the belief in abstaining from premarital sex, and that despite having good intentions, many of the teachings had negative consequences, including shame, disillusionment and judgmentalism. Women were set up as the gatekeepers for men’s sexuality, resulting in a situation where men were denied the opportunity to learn sexual self-control. These are only a few of the many problems with the purity culture and its messaging. The foreword is by Sheila Wray Gregoire, herself an expert on this topic and host of the Bare Marriage Podcast. 

Overview

The book is divided into three sections: In the first section, titled “Constructing Purity Culture,” the author lays a foundation for the rest of the book by providing an overview of “toxic Christian cultures,” and describing the historical and cultural environment in which the purity culture developed. In the second section, readers are introduced to the five myths of purity culture, which the author attempts to deconstruct, while the third and final section focuses on reconstructing faith and sexuality.

This review will focus on the “myths” of purity culture that are addressed in the second section of the book.

The Spiritual Barometer Myth

In this chapter, Morgante shares how she wore a purity ring as a teenager, dreaming of the day she would give it to her husband, and how her greatest gift to him would be her virginity. (Somehow his virginity didn’t matter as much, apparently). She admits seeing the ring as a barometer of her faith at the time. She discusses the fact that purity culture idolizes virginity and that like any other idol, the promise of purity culture will fail, as it sets up a system of religion that is works-based. She discusses how she once believed that she was a better Christian because she was a virgin and that somehow God was more pleased with her. The chapter ends with a discussion of how she didn’t end up giving her husband her purity ring on their wedding day. By that time, she had realized that their commitment to each other, in addition to the love and trust they had for each other, was worth far more than their sexual status on one day.

The Fairy Tale Myth

In this chapter, the author shares how she, as a teenager, had created a two-page list of what she wanted in a husband, trusting that if she remained faithful to God’s teachings about sexual abstinence, she would be blessed with a fairy tale marriage. Eventually, as the “fairy tale” was shattered, her faith started to crumble. (She eventually did get married, even though her husband didn’t have all the physical characteristics that she had on her list!).

She goes on to describe the impact of the fairy tale myth on singles and married couples and concludes that “we don’t have to be disillusioned by a bargain God never intended.”

The Flipped Switch Myth

Morgante describes the Flipped Switch Myth as one of the most recognizable myths of purity culture, summing it up in the statement, “It’s like before you’re married, sex is bad, and then after you get married, you just flip a switch, and it’s great!”

She goes on to address how purity culture sets Christians up for disappointment and failure by offering false promises, without emphasizing the effort that is required for intimate relationships.

The Gatekeepers Myth

This chapter starts with a quote from a Christian book, where wives are compared to methadone. Morgante addresses the fact that purity culture is rooted in patriarchy, an example being the idea that women are told that they are to meet their husbands’ sexual needs “without complaint.” Other problems identified include the emphasis on sexual purity for women alone, and the shame imposed on people who don’t conform to the gender stereotypes. This imbalance in messaging and expectations treats us all with inequality, according to Morgante.

I will add that as an addiction medicine physician who has spent several years prescribing methadone for patients with opioid addiction, I was appalled when I first heard about the suggestion that women should act as “methadone” for their husbands. I am glad that this toxic attitude was addressed in this book.

The Damaged Goods Myth

In this chapter, the author addresses the shame that is associated with the messages of purity culture, emphasizing the fact that survivors are affected by this regardless of gender or marital status. The issue of sexual abuse survivors having to deal with this shame in addition to their trauma is also addressed.

Reconstruction and moving forward

In the third and final section of the book, the author discusses how readers can heal their faith and reconstruct their sexual ethic. The book includes personal assessment sections – where readers can assess the impact of various aspects of purity culture and determine how they have been impacted by those teachings.

Throughout the book, the author includes questions for reflection and activities (Tools for the Journey) that are intended to help people who have been negatively impacted by purity culture to heal.

Of note, the author does not assume that readers share her beliefs. The book includes anecdotes from her personal and professional experience, in addition to her Christian faith. She respects the fact that not all her readers will agree with her personal convictions and refrains from judgment.

Overall, Morgante Camden’s “Recovering from Purity Culture” is an excellent resource for anyone who has been affected by purity culture, whether directly or indirectly. The book is written in a style that is engaging, informative and relatable. Individuals who have been negatively impacted by purity culture will find it extremely useful, as will clinicians working with this population.

Check out my website for updates on my forthcoming book, Girls Become Doctors.