How Healthy is YOUR Relationship with God? –TAKE THE QUIZ!

How Healthy is YOUR Relationship with God? –TAKE THE QUIZ! February 20, 2015
Image via Shutterstock. Used with permission.
Image via Shutterstock. Used with permission.
The following quiz* is a statistically valid and reliable measure that evaluates the degree to which a person’s relationship with God is healthy and secure.   Most people are surprised by the results.  How will you score?

Directions

Circle the number indicates your level of agreement from DISAGREE STRONGLY (DS) to NEUTRAL (N)  to AGREE STRONGLY (AS).  The points assigned will vary from question to question.  Don’t worry about the numbers for now, just view them as place-holders that indicate your level of agreement/disagreement with each question.

1. My experiences with God are very intimate and emotional.

DS ———–N————-AS

7     6     5     4     3     2     1

2. I prefer not to depend too much on God.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

3. My prayers to God are very emotional.

DS ———–N————-AS

7     6     5     4     3     2     1

4. I am totally dependent upon God for everything in my life.

DS ———–N————-AS

7     6     5     4     3     2     1

5. Without God I couldn’t function at all.

DS ———–N————-AS

7     6     5     4     3     2     1

6. I just don’t feel a deep need to be close to God.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

7. Daily I discuss all of my problems and concerns with God.

DS ———–N————-AS

7     6     5     4     3     2     1

8. I am uncomfortable allowing God to control every aspect of my life.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

9. I let God make most of the decisions in my life.

DS ———–N————-AS

7     6     5     4     3     2     1

10. I am uncomfortable with emotional displays of affection to God.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

11.  It is uncommon for me to cry when sharing with God.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

12. I am uncomfortable being emotional in my communication with God.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

13. I believe people should not depend on God for things they should do for themselves.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

14. My prayers to God are often matter-of-fact and not very personal.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

SUBTOTAL SCALE 1  (Q’s 1-14)______________

15. I worry a lot about my relationship with God.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

16. I often worry about whether God is pleased with me.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

17. I get upset when I feel God helps others but forgets about me.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

18. I fear God does not accept me when I do wrong.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

19. I often feel angry with God for not responding to me.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

20. I worry a lot about damaging my relationship with God.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

21. I am jealous at how God seems to care more for others than for me.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

22. I am jealous when others feel God’s presence when I cannot.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

23. I am jealous at how close some people are to God.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

24. If I can’t see God working in my life, I get upset or angry.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

25. Sometimes I feel that God loves others more than me.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

26.  Almost daily I feel that my relationship with God goes back and forth from “hot” to “cold.”

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

27. I crave reassurance from God that God loves me.

DS ———–N————-AS

1     2     3     4     5     6     7

28. Even if I fail, I never question that God is pleased with me.

DS ———–N————-AS

7     6     5     4     3     2     1

                             Subtotal Scale  2 (Q’s 15-28) _______                                              

 

 Grand Total of Scales 1 & 2  (All Q’s)  ___________

  

Scoring

Step 1:  Add up the points for all the questions.   This is your Overall Attachment to God Score. This score suggests how secure your relationship with God is overall.  The LOWER the score the better.  The lowest possible score is a 28 (1 point per question) which would indicate an “Absolutely Secure” relationship with God.  A score of 56 or less still indicates a “Very Secure” relationship with God.  Scores HIGHER THAN 57 (up to a maximum of 196) indicate varying degrees of insecurity in your relationship with God.  That insecurity could cause you to be more anxious about your relationship with God than you ought to be or more avoidant in your relationship with God than you ought to be.  Steps 2 and 3 will help you determine which (avoidance or anxiety) is more responsible for the degree of insecurity you display.

Step 2:  Add questions 1 – 14.  Write the total on “Subtotal Scale 1”      This is your score for the Avoidant Scale.    The  LOWER the score the better.  The lowest possible score is 14 which would indicate that you are not at all avoidant in your relationship with God.   In other words, you feel absolutely eager to share your thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams with God and relying on him in every aspect of your life.   A score of 28 or LESS suggests that you are generally very comfortable sharing your thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams with God and relying on him in every aspect of your life.  A score of 29 or HIGHER means that there may be several ways you tend to resist sharing your heart with God or relying on him in parts of your life.  The higher your Avoidant Scale score, the more obstacles you tend to put up between yourself and God and the harder it is for you to let him influence your life and relationships.  The maximum possible score on the Avoidant Scale is 98

Step 2: Add questions 15-28.  Write the total on “Subtotal Scale 2”     This is your score for the Anxious Scale.  The  LOWER the score the better.  The lowest possible score is 14 which would indicate that you are absolutely confident and trusting in your relationship with God.   In other words, you never doubt or question God’s mercy, providence or caring/nurturing presence in your life.   A score of 28 or LESS suggests that you rarely doubt or question God’s mercy, providence or caring/nurturing presence in your life..  A score of 29 or HIGHER means that you tend to worry that God may not always be there for you, that you might behave in ways that could cause him to abandon you, or that somehow, he might forget about you and your needs.  The higher your Avoidant Scale score, the stronger your anxiety is about God either forgetting/abandoning you or alienating him with even simple mistakes/errors in judgment (i.e., scrupulosity).  The maximum possible score on the Avoidant Scale is 98

What Does Your Score Mean and What Can You Do?

To learn more about why you scored the way you did, check out my previous post on attachment styles and their influence on our spiritual lives.

IF you scored higher on the Avoidant Scale.  You will need to make an intentional effort to share more of your life with God.  Make a point of talking to him about your hopes, dreams, fears, concerns, and joys.  It will probably feel silly or unnecessary.  Do it anyway.  God wants to be part of every aspect of your life.  He wants to be one with you (Jn 17:21).   It will take effort to remind yourself that you need God.  Cultivate the discipline of prayer and especially of sharing your concerns even though you tend to feel like everything is up to you in your life. You don’t have to feel so alone any more.  Learn to fight the false thoughts and desolations that cause you to believe that you don’t or shouldn’t need God’s help.   Jesus is standing at the door of your heart knocking.  Make the consistent effort to let him in.  A spiritual director or pastoral counselor can be helpful to you in keeping you accountable for opening your heart appropriately to God.

IF you scored higher on the Anxious Scale.  You will need to make an intentional effort to remind yourself of God’s past providence, mercy and steadfast love.  Keep a gratitude journal to recall the blessings of each day.  Likewise write down the times that God has delivered you from past difficulties and review this list in prayer often–perhaps constantly.  Reflect on passages in scripture that remind you of your ability to trust in God.  Learn to fight the false thoughts and desolations that seek to separate you from God’s grace and peace.  A spiritual director or pastoral counselor can help you find your confidence in God’s fidelity when you are struggling to find your spiritual center.

*Attachment to God Inventory –R. Beck & A. McDonald Journal of Psychology and Theology 2004, Vol. 32, No. 2, 92-103

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