P.T. Barnum was a man who seemed allergic to boredom. The musical “The Greatest Showman” tells the story of his resulting rise from rags to riches. Despite his adventurous and boisterous life, even he faced monotony at times. I am particularly struck by the song in the musical “Never Enough,” which explores his yearning for something that feels just out of reach. Wanting to escape an uninteresting existence, he clings to a fragile sense of happiness.
I’m trying to hold my breath
Let it stay this way
Can’t let this moment end (Loren Allred, “Never Enough”)
Distraction
We can similarly easily fall into the trap of desiring distractions to keep us occupied and avoid thinking about our existential problems. While the distractions of this world fail, when we give our lives over to Jesus, we discover an endless source of inspiration and adventure. This contrasts with the societal boredom that so many people experience today.
We all experience boredom from time to time. “Feeling unsatisfied by an activity, or uninterested in it, can lead to boredom” (Healthline, “Boredom”). Boredom leads to some uncomfortable symptoms, like having energy but nowhere to direct it, or having difficulty focusing. Boredom often gives us a sense of emptiness, and we can feel apathetic, fatigued, nervous, or jittery when we are bored.
Bad Results and Boredom
Boredom can lead to lots of bad results, but it can also be a catalyst for positive change. This is what happened to St. Charles de Foucauld when he transformed his life from a life of sin to a life focused on the Gospel.
While growing up at boarding school, he wrote about the spiritual malaise he was experiencing.
I lived the way it is possible to live once the last spark of faith has been extinguished. I am bored to death (good catholic. “A Saint for Sinners: Charles De Foucauld”).
Years later, after pursuing adventure in North Africa, he ultimately became a contemplative monk in the desert. What had changed?
The moment I realized that God existed, I knew that I could not do otherwise than to live for him alone (good catholic. “A Saint for Sinners: Charles De Foucauld”).
Experiencing the Reality of God
Maybe this is what many of us need to deeply experience the reality of the existence of God. This is not just something to assent to intellectually, but something to be experienced such that it transforms our manner of processing reality. In fact, we see something like that happen to Peter in today’s Gospel. If we look at today’s Gospel, I think we can perhaps see how Charles could make the words of St. Peter his own
Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man (Lk. 5:8).
For us, too, it is easy to be focused on our sins and imperfections. When in this state, it can seem impossible to enter into a relationship with God because we have set up so many obstacles through our sinful behavior. It seems impossible that God could want us to follow him, much less be his disciple.
Imposter Syndrome
Yet, when Peter falls to his knees in front of Jesus, he expresses a deeply human experience. How often do we suffer from ‘imposter syndrome’? We look around and see highly capable people. This makes us think, “I don’t belong here. There is no way I can compete with these people. It would be better if I just gave up.” Peter felt the same way. He witnessed Jesus perform a great miracle and Jesus had chosen him to be part of the story–a protagonist of the story, no less.
Waking Up in Hope
Duc in altum. “Put out into the deep” (Lk. 5:4). This is one of my favorite phrases in all the Gospels. Jesus meets these fishermen, these simple, everyday men, and chooses to give them the mission of a lifetime, of a million lifetimes. There is no greater thing that we can accomplish than preaching Christ to others. Friendship with Christ is the greatest gift we can give another human being.
Saint John Paul II used this phrase in his encyclical designed to prepare the Church for the Third Millennium, Novo Millennio Ineunte. So often, when reading the news, trepidation enters our hearts as we look to the future. However, as Saint John Paul II reminds us, if we truly let the Gospel message penetrate our hearts, we can look forward with hope:
Duc in altum! These words ring out for us today, and they invite us to remember the past with gratitude, to live the present with enthusiasm and to look forward to the future with confidence: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and for ever” (Heb 13:8) (St. John Paul II, Novo Millennio Ineunte, 1).
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