Some people can sleep anywhere. One of those people was a student in one of my seminars a few semesters ago. Bob (his name has been changed to protect the innocent) is a bright but apparently less-than-motivated student whose verbal work, such as participation in seminar, vastly exceeds his written or objective work, such as reading quizzes and the midterm exam. Heโs one of those students who always has something to say that is relevant and insightful, carefully crafted to disguise the fact that he has probably only skimmed the reading, if he looked at it at all.
After more than twenty-five years of teaching I recognize this sort of student more easily than he or she might wish. More important, I recognize this sort of student because on rare occasions I was โthat guyโ as an undergraduate myself (although not as frequently or as successfully as Bob). And he dozes off in classโfrequently. The seminar rooms in our Ruaneย Center for the Humanities are equipped with circular tables, so itโs not as if anyone can sleep in the back row. There is no back row. But that doesnโt deter Bobโif he needs a catnap he takes one. More power to him, I say; I often would like to do the same.
One week our seminar text was Shakespeareโs The Merchant of Venice. Following a setup lecture the previous day by my colleague from the English department, I decided to have students volunteer for the nine speaking roles in the dramatic Act Four trial scene and spend the majority of our two hours reading Shakespeare aloud, with pauses for commentary and general discussion as the spirit moved.
Bob volunteered to read the part of Portia, the most important role in Act Four other than Shylock. In this act Portia and her sidekick Nerissa are pretending to be young men, a lawyer and his assistant. Since in Shakespeareโs world all female roles were played by guys, Portia and Nerissa in Act Four would have been played by guys playing women who are pretending to be guys. Right up Bobโs alley, as it turned outโhe was excellent in the role.
Until it came time for Portiaโs famous โThe quality of mercy is not strained/ It droppeth as the gentle rain from heavenโ speech, that is. Instead of the opening lines of Portiaโs eloquent appeal to Shylockโs mercy, there was an uncomfortable silence. Bob had fallen asleep. The girl playing Antonio sitting next to Bob elbowed him in the ribs, Bobโs head jerked upโโOh! Sorry!โโand he proceeded to read Portiaโs twenty-five line speech beautifully and with feeling. Pretty impressiveโand he managed to stay awake for the rest of the act. Bob might suffer from narcolepsy, but my suspicion is that he simply doesnโt get enough sleepโa malady shared by many freshmen. So he grabs forty winks in class when he needs to. At least he shows up.
Today is Maundy Thursday, a part of Holy Week so full of drama and intrigue that it is very easy to miss some of the most interesting details in the narrative. After dinner, Jesus heads to the Garden of Gethsemane for some one-on-one conversation with his dad, while the disciples tag along. He wants to be alone and asks them to stay and wait for him as he walks on a bit further. Jesusโ distress and agony as well as his fear of what is to come are palpable and are understandably the focus of most discussions of this part of the Holy Week drama.
A less discussed, but equally important, detail is that the disciples fall asleep. They literally cannot keep their eyes open. On three different occasions, Jesus returns to them and finds them catching some Zs. The gospel account is very โhigh churchโ sounding, but Jesus is clearly pissed when he finds them asleep. DUDES! Really?? Iโm over here literally sweating drops of blood, Iโve never been so scared and worried, and youโre ASLEEP?? WTF?? Wake the hell up! Canโt you at least do that much?
Iโm sure their collective reaction was something like Bobโs when he was caught sleeping as he should have been channeling Portia. โWhaa? Oh! Sorry, man! James! Andrew! I canโt believe you guys fell asleep! It wonโt happen again, dude!โ But it doesโthree times.
On the few occasions I have heard this scene discussed, the focus is always on the disciples, so human, so weak, or so disinterested that they fall asleep at the switch. Iโm more interested in Jesusโ reaction. He hasnโt asked the disciples to do anything for him; he doesnโt even want them around him. So why is he so upset to find them sleeping? Whatโs the difference between sitting on oneโs ass doing nothing and being asleep? In one of his letters to Eberhard Bethgeย from Tegel prison, Dietrich Bonhoeffer uses this little scene to illustrate a profound insight.
Jesus asked in Gethsemane, โCould you not watch with me one hour?โ That is a reversal of what the religious person expects from God. We are summoned to share in Godโs sufferings at the hands of a godless world.
We expect God to do stuff, to solve problems, to kick ass and take names, but this God is not any of that. The only way this God can be in the world is to experience everything it has to offer, to suffer the worst it can do. The least that the disciples can do is be there, to pay attention, to be in solidarity with this man whom they love, whom they have followed, and whom they absolutely do not understand. Jesus feels alone and abandoned by everyone and everything; finding the disciples asleep simply confirms that what he is feeling is the truth.
What would it mean to watch and not fall asleep, to share in Godโs sufferings? Where exactly is God suffering in our world? Everywhere that a human being has a need of any sort, God is in the middle of it. There is so much suffering that it can be overwhelming. No one of us, not even any one group of us, no matter how well-meaning, can make a significant dent. But Jesus isnโt asking the disciples to do anything other than to be aware, to be attentive, and not to tune out. If the answer to โwhat can I do to helpโ is โnothing,โ at least the question was asked. Asking someone to bear the weight of the world alone is asking a lotโeven of God.