Praying for Enemies

Am I required to pray for my enemies? Can I pray they get judged, condemned, or zapped? Or must I pray for their welfare? Accepting the doctrines contained and implied in the creeds is easier than praying for enemies. To quote some early skeptics, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?” Prayers for those who wrong us (or we believe wronged us) are difficult. And what about Psalm 137? I suppose the first action to take is look at what Jesus says.

Hating Enemies

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your father in heaven…Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:43-48) There is no exact quote from the Hebrew Bible used here. But there are many commands to love neighbors and strangers. AND there are a number of times the Scriptures at least imply one should hate one’s enemies. It is easy to draw the interpretation. Love God and love your neighbor and the stranger.

Justice, however, demands the enemy – the persecutor, the one who does you wrong, the bully – be dealt with according to their own actions (eye for an eye, etc.) But here Jesus implores his followers to ignore the desire for justice and to practice desiring mercy.

Who Is My Enemy?

A scribe asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus described a faceless and unnamed Samaritan as his neighbor. It is easy to think of enemies in a generic sense. A theologian described how faceless enemies during World War II became a rescued U-Boat crew on the very same day. Many stories are told about similar circumstances. But what about those enemies whose faces and names we know well?

Jesus specifically speaks of these people in Luke. “But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” (6:27-28) The section ends with the words, “Be merciful, just as your father is merciful.” (6:36) Everyone experiences this type of enemy at some point in life. We know who scapegoated us, abused our generosity, and cussed about us behind our backs. It hurts every time it happens.

People leave churches due to such actions. Separation is necessary in some cases. The enemy may be a church member, a relative, or a former friend. Their actions hurt more than those taken against us by complete strangers. What should we do?

Enemies and Recovery

Spirituality for those in recovery programs eventually approached this issue. A spouse, children, friend, parent, or other formerly close person leaves a terrible wound in the spirit. For healing to take place, the person first talks about what happened to them, when, and their response. And then the person is asked to pray for the enemy. The person keeps prays every day it takes until it becomes easier. It may take a long time to get the person to that point.

Sometimes these enemies are imagined. It does not take a large leap of logic to blame someone else for their own mistakes. Shifting blame is a way to trick one’s own mind too. This problem is difficult to overcome because people often confirm their identity through these tricks.

Children of God

Earlier in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus proclaims Blessed Happiness awaits the peacemaker. “Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called the children of God.” (Matthew 5:9) Peacemaking is possible when fighting stops. But it is not merely stopping the fighting. Reconciliation is the goal of peacemaking. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to reconcile.

Matthew 18:15-17 provides a method for reproving a church member who sins against you. If that person refuses to recant or repent, then let that person “be to you as a Gentile and tax gatherer.” Some fundamentalists believe this is a method for the church to exercise discipline against a member who sins. But that is not the point. The point is to find a way to approach the person as a child of God and not a tax collector or Gentile. Separation is not the intention. But it is sometimes necessary.

Children of God are imitators of the Divine. Matthew uses the word “perfect” in the context of divine generosity (God sends the rain on the righteous and unrighteous). Luke uses the word merciful from a consideration of dealing with someone indebted to you. Forgiving debts is a concrete example of taking a loss for the sake of another. Other losses could be swallowing your pride, letting go an unrepentant person, or forgiving a just claim.

Unforgiveable Enemies?

We are human creatures of earth with great will and desire along with limitations. There are some actions committed by people that appear unforgivable. The murder of innocent children, sexual abuse, and forcing someone into psychological horrors are a few of these actions.

Will there ever be a time the victims or their loved ones can forgive? What happens if we never can forgive other people? This where keeping a prayerful distance makes the most sense. I can pray for your enemies better than I can for my own. But, if my enemies are ever going to know grace, I must pray for that at least.