An Immodest Proposal

An Immodest Proposal January 8, 2019

Wealthy Man

Imagine for a moment that you’ve been approached by an exceptionally attractive billionaire. Well, not by him personally, but by one of his employees. And he tells you that his wealthy employer wants to ask for your hand in marriage!

It’s a lot to take in, right? I know. But it’s totally legit. It’s a really big commitment…a binding, lifelong contract, in fact…and the prenup contains no small amount of fine print. He is a billionaire, after all.

There are a few caveats.

There is a very high likelihood that you may go your entire life without ever actually meeting the man. I mean it’s possible you’ll get to meet him at some point, I suppose. But it’s far more likely that you won’t…for the duration of your natural life. He is a very busy man, you know, and he is incredibly shy.

But that shouldn’t prevent you from organizing your entire life around this relationship. It will be the most important, the most significant relationship in your life. He will be your husband, and all other relationships should bend to accommodate this one, because that’s how he wants this marriage to work.

Yes, it’s an odd proposition, I know. But an unusual man like this requires an unusual arrangement. This is how it has to be: He might show up at some point, but it’s also quite possible the two of you won’t meet face-to-face for as long as you live. But he will still be your husband and you will be his wife.

Also, there are a few other things you should know.

Getting to Know Each Other

It is entirely possible that your new husband will never actually communicate with you directly.

Now, I’m not saying he won’t communicate with you at all. It’s just that he prefers to communicate through mediators. More precisely, through letters…and stories.

And he won’t write them about you, per se. Nor will he address you specifically in any of his correspondence. He prefers to communicate with you indirectly…by writing to other people, people you don’t even know…and he won’t mention your name in anything he writes. That’s just how he prefers to do it.

Actually, to be more precise, he won’t even write these letters and stories himself. He will commission others to pen these writings—people you wouldn’t even know and will never actually meet—and they won’t write them to you so much as to other people whom you will likewise never meet.

In fact, most of the authors and recipients of this correspondence will have never met him, either, nor will they have heard from him directly. But it is essential that you understand that they speak on his behalf anyway, and that even though your name will never come up, it will all be intended for you…at least indirectly.

And this is how it will go for the duration of your life. You will likely never meet him face-to-face, nor receive any direct communication from him…only indirect communications through third parties that will never speak to you directly, either. They won’t even know who you are.

If it’s any consolation, a great many coincidences in your life will be arranged by him for your benefit, although he will always take great pains to do it in such a way that his involvement will be entirely undetectable. You just have to trust that he’s behind it all.

But this relationship will be so intimate, so rich, so all-consuming that all your deepest emotional needs will be met through this single relationship. All other relationships must take a backseat to this one. That’s how fulfilling this relationship will be.

So what do you say? Are you in?

In the interest of full disclosure, I should warn you that rejecting an offer like this could have some undesirable consequences. See, most people would kill for an invitation like this, and turning this particular man down will demonstrate to the rest of the world that you are a foolish, immature, and even immoral person who isn’t capable of making a good decision on your own.

This is why you need him in the first place. You are helpless in life without him, and any happiness you obtain without his help is a sign of moral inferiority on your part. I can’t even promise that dreadful things won’t happen to you if you reject his generous offer.

Mind you, it’s not that he himself will personally retaliate for your refusal to accept his proposal. But surely you understand that under such circumstances he could no longer protect you from whatever happens next. He will wash his hands clean of you and let the chips fall where they may. It could get very bad.

So you see there is really no good reason to turn down this extravagant offer.

Now About the Money…

Oh, and to address one more thing that you’re probably wondering: Will marrying a billionaire mean that you’ll become wealthy yourself? Well…yes, and no.

Monetarily speaking, you won’t actually experience any increase in material resources (what are you, a gold digger?). But your generous new husband will graciously grant that every penny you earn will be rightfully paid out to you through your regular salary.

You still have to go to work, of course. And he cannot guarantee that you won’t have to look for a new job from time to time. You never know when an egotistical madman may take over the government and freeze your paycheck. But your husband will guarantee that in due time you will reap the benefits of the work you put into your job, with only one condition…

You must be sure to give him credit for everything you earn. Before you log in to your bank account at the start of each month, you should be sure to express appreciation to him for the salary for which you’ve labored. He is very jealous about things like this, and he wants you to attribute all your accomplishments to him. Surely he deserves that as your husband, and such a generous one at that!

In fact, in order to truly to show your appreciation to him for your paycheck, you should immediately turn around and offer back to him a cut of what he has graciously given you. That seems only fair, especially considering how much he is doing for you. And it’s not that he needs the money…it’s more about showing gratitude for what he has done.

In time you will learn to derive deep satisfaction from this relationship even if he never appears or speaks a single word to you for your entire life. In time you will learn to credit him for everything good that happens to you, whether done through circumstances, through other people, or through your own hard work and diligence.

Whether or not you can see his hand in all of it, you will learn to thank him for every good thing that happens to you. You can just say it out loud or else to yourself, inside your own head. You can be sure the message will get to him even though you will likely never hear back from him. Not directly, anyway. But he hears it.

You will go to bed and wake up each morning with the satisfaction of knowing that you are wedded to the most generous man in the world.

So what do you say? Are you interested? It’s an offer you simply cannot refuse.

[Image Source: Adobe Stock]

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