I wrote up this story on my blog a few years ago and I thought it would make a really great story time video. It’s the story of the time I totally thought we were all going to die. Here is the video:
From the original blog post:
I like to think of myself as an intelligent woman, but Godless Mom was not always this way. I was once a stupid teenager and I, admittedly, fell for some shit from time to time.
I grew up on the West Coast of Canada, where earthquakes happened and were often talked about. For as long as I can remember, the threat of the “Big One” loomed unpredictably over us, thieving sleep and infiltrating dreams. In school, we had earthquake drills and were taught earthquake preparedness over and over. We had evacuation plans and escape routes, we had preparedness kits and checklists, there were cans of beans and bottles of water shoved in the darkest corners of every classroom, and I swear those canned fuckers would whisper, “did you feel that?” from time to time to keep us on our toes.
No kid in Southwest BC grew up without some fear of the Cascadia Fault. None of us reached adulthood without the ghost tremors now and again. The paranoia ran deep and where there is paranoia, there is always some profiteering motherfucker waiting to prey on it.
Every month or so, one of these fear mongers would lie his way to the news and foretell that a large seismic event was imminent, sending shockwaves of terror throughout the city. Bottled water and spam would disappear off the shelves at Safeway and suddenly every Lower Mainlander had become critically aware of every last sliver in their doorways.When I was around 13, on a Friday night over a feast of Domino’s pepperoni pizza, my Dad flipped from my Muchmusic countdown to the news. I was none too pleased, and held a small, teenaged protest as I grumbled my way through a pie slice. I hated the news, I hated it when my parents watched the news and I would always leave the room when they did. There were never any cute boys on the fucking news, who the fuck needed it?
On this evening, however, I stuck around because pizza. I was 13. Pizza was my tertiary interest after cute boys and music videos.
I stared blankly at a brief story about the Middle East, then there was something about a lost dog in Port Alberni, and then finally, as I was taking my last few bites of grease casserole, a “scientist” was consulted about our ever-threatening fault line, and he assured us all that the Big One was going to hit tomorrow, for sure, beyond any doubt.
Inner panic. I stopped mid-chew and waited for my family to fucking melt down. They didn’t. I didn’t understand why they weren’t reacting. Throwing down my crust, I shrieked,
“What’s wrong with you people? Didn’t you hear what he just said?”
My 8 year old brother looked at me, curiously and said no.
“The Big One is happening tomorrow! And you’re all just sitting there! What’s the matter with you?”
“The Big One? You mean the earthquake?” My little brother was starting to look concerned.
“Yes! The earthquake!”
He began to cry, “What are we going to do, Mom? We have to go get bottled water.” He continued to list off things we would need through sobs.
You can read the rest here.
Have you ever fallen for pseudoscience? Let me know in the comments!