Sacre bleu! Alleged atheist vandals purportedly give Jesus googly eyes.

Sacre bleu! Alleged atheist vandals purportedly give Jesus googly eyes. March 29, 2020

It may just be a fun public relations campaign for secularism, but adherents of an activist group reportedly “have been sneaking into churches” recently and putting sticky-backed “googly eyes” on statues and images of Jesus.

Or so says the tongue-in-cheek anti-theist website Religimarole: Biting Religious Satire Daily.

Of course, breaking and entering is a misdemeanor, but the motivation isn’t — to satirize Christianity in a completely nondestructive way, and humorously (although clerics purportedly aren’t laughing, if Religimarole is to be believed).

“No Christ Left Behind” is allegedly the motto of the Secular And Crucial Rebellion Of Sacred And Non Critical Thinking (SACROSANCT) of Alabama — described  as “bunch of anonymous militant atheists” by Religimarole.

Whether the googly-eyed-Jesus campaign is an actual independent initiative of SACROSANCT (which doesn’t have a website or any other verification I could find) or just an editorial spoof by Religimarole is anybody’s guess, but, either way, the idea has charm and promise (not that I’m encouraging anyone to break and enter anything).

A March 26 Religimarole article claims that SACROSANCT initiated its googly-eye campaign “as a harsh lesson” to churches that have chosen to remain open, ignoring the federal Center for Disease Control’s (CCD) warning on social distancing and putting their faith in God not medical science, or death certificates.

Religimarole even quotes an alleged priest suspiciously named “Father Kinderfelt,” an apparent victim of the googly-eye initiative who supposedly denigrated the resulting mild vandalism in his church by saying,

“No I don’t think this is funny. Jesus now looks shocked every time we pray.”

Religimarole even published several pictures it asserts show specific instances of the vandalism, including, very curiously, a picture of the Islamic prophet Muhammad with bug eyes. In fact, Muslim’s are doctrinally prohibited from materially depicting an image of their exalted prophet in the first place, much less to which googly eyes could be affixed. Indeed, that’s exactly what prompted two attacks (in 2011 and 2015) by Muslim terrorists who murdered 12 people at the offices of Paris satirical Charlie Hebdo (Charlie Weekly, in French). The magazine had published cartoons depicting the prophet.

In any event, Religimarole says far-less-murderous secular radicals have been gently and only temporarily defacing Christian iconography in the name of common-sense observances to slow the deadly coronavirus pandemic as it spreads in the U.S. Whether vandalism has been committed or not, the message is still worth spreading.

No blood, no foul, so to speak, Religimarole claims, asserting that police were called to various vandalized sites and determined the slightly sticky paper eyes were easily removed without a trace. No damage, no crime, therefore, except perhaps for trespassing, but, as every good Christian and once-Christian knows, God forgives not only our own trespasses but we are also expected to forgive those who trespass against us. However, no suspects were identified, so there was no one to charge, anyway.

Responsibly, Religimarole seemed to urge a modicum of restraint (or not) in the googly-eye campaign moving forward:

Hopefully this trend doesn’t continue,” the site says, “and it doesn’t continue soon.”


Please sign up (top right) to receive new Godzooks posts via email, Facebook or Twitter

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!