Did we ever imagine that ‘Make America Hate Again’ could refer to religious hatred of Donald Trump?
Here’s a Q & A with religious haters of the President:
Question: Has The Object of Hatred really said or done anything warranting hatred?
Answer: Yes. The Object of Hatred has uttered as many errors as words and has offended in every syllable and gesture.
Question: Is The Object of Hatred hated as a whole or merely for one defective part?
Answer: We hate only his guts.
Question: Is there some remedy whereby The Object of Hatred can appease you haters?
Answer: May God absolutely forbid this, but The Object of Hatred could step through the portal of death and claim his eternal reward sooner rather than later. A slip on ice would serve. But God forbid.
Question: Do you intend any violence to The Object of Hatred?!
Answer: No! Only daily reprimands and nightly tongue lashings, but no laying on of hands for bodily injury, and no suborning of such a thing.
Question: Didn’t Jesus warn against hating a brother?
Answer: Jesus did warn against hating a brother, and fortunately The Object of Hatred is no sibling to any of us haters, though a few of The Object of Hatred’s Scottish cousins risk offending Jesus on this point.
Question: What is the expected term of your hatred? When will it end?
Answer: Our hatred should end in months, years, or never.
Question: Has The Object of Hatred poisoned any relationships that are external to the Object of Hatred himself?
Answer: Yes. Residual disappointments mar friendly and familial affairs all over the land.
Question: Has The Object of Hatred extended any ill effects beyond the U.S.A. borders?
Answer: Yes. The Object of Hatred has infected to the North Star.
Question: Isn’t it your fault that you are so filled with loathing for The Object of Hatred?
Answer: It is not our fault. The hatred that somberly ornaments the USA and drapes its religious citizens in muted colors is The Object of Hatred’s own fault—aided and abetted by his detested, bungling, perfidious epigones.
Featured Image ‘Make America Hate Again!’ by Codico Tuna Colectivo de Arte via Flickr