The Atheist & The Humanoid God

The Atheist & The Humanoid God April 15, 2019

God  has  ever  been  rendered  in  human  form.

How far are theists willing to commit to the anthropomorphic God?  How human-like is God?

I asked a shade tree theologian I know in the Deep South to provide a tip to toe inventory of God and he said this:

Hair: white

Eyebrows: white

Nose: Roman

Visage: Fierce

Facial Hair: Full beard, white

Hands: Muscular

Fingernails: Trimmed close

Clothes: Toga, off-white

Shoes: Sandals, brown leather

Feet: Muscular

Toenails: Trimmed close

When asked about the sexual organ, the shade tree theologian demurred. When asked about God’s internal organs and God’s skeletal frame, the shade tree theologian said this:

All God’s internals organs and skeletal frame are as ours, properly placed, though with a slightly larger heart, and made of eternal, durable material, unlike our human internal organs and skeleton.

When asked why internal organs and a skeleton would be necessary for God’s eternal body, the shade tree theologian said the following:

God eats and drinks in heaven, his blood circulates, and he inhales and exhales the exquisite air of heaven. Furthermore, his rib cage protects his heart, just in case there’s a second rebellion among the angels.

When asked about the emotional life of God and if God had similar dispositions as humans, the shade tree theologian replied:

God runs the gamut of human emotions, all the good ones like joy and happiness and mercy and loving-kindness, but God is also susceptible to some of the darker human emotions like testiness, anger, partiality, jealousy.

The shade tree theologian was then asked to characterize God’s sense of humor and whether it was similar to the scope of humanity’s sense of humor. The shade tree theologian said:

I am not aware of any holy literature that portrays God as having a sense of humor at all. But as an Omni-Competent Being who can do anything, I am sure God could tell the funniest joke anyone has ever heard, a joke so funny that we would literally die laughing at it. As I said, I am not aware of any humor in the Bible or the Quran or any holy book, but perhaps the humor is going over my head. Maybe God’s humor is dry, British.

Finally, the shade tree theologian was asked if he could understand that the portrayal of God in anthropomorphic terms was one of the top reasons atheists could not believe in God, and he said:

What’s not to believe?

 

Feature image ‘Houston – Midtown: Preservons la Creation’ by Wally Gobetz via Flickr

 

 

 

 

 

 

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