When God Says, “No”

I vividly remember a day when I had to face a hard fact of life: Sometimes God says, “No.”

I needed to be fixed!

There was this thing in my life, nothing sinful or evil, that I really needed to get fixed. It probably happened because of something I neglected in my past, but again, nothing evil. It affected no one but me, and other than a handful of other people, no one knew about it. I prayed for God to fix it for fifteen years. Then, God gave me a definitive answer, and it was “no.”

I didn’t understand, so on the outside I was trying to act normally, while on the inside I was grieving. Yes, grieving, as though I had lost someone or something very important to me. The death of a dream can be shattering. The death of faith in the dream, or faith in God to bring about the dream, is much worse.

The only thread I found to cling to was God’s word, and there, do you know what I found? I found others who faced the same situation. To be honest, their circumstances were much worse than mine:

God said, “No.”

 “After Nathan had gone home, the Lord struck the child that Uriah’s wife had borne to David, and he became ill. David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth on the ground. The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.

“On the seventh day the child died. David’s attendants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, ‘While the child was still living, he wouldn’t listen to us when we spoke to him. How can we now tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate.’

“David noticed that his attendants were whispering among themselves, and he realized the child was dead. ‘Is the child dead?’ he asked.

“‘Yes,’ they replied, ‘he is dead.’

“Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.

“His attendants asked him, ‘Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!’

“He answered, ‘While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live. But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me’” (2 Samuel 12:15-23).

David, the king; David, the man after God’s own heart pleaded with God, and God said, “No,” and David had to accept that judgement and go on.

God said, “No.”

And again:

“Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:6-10).

Paul, the Apostle of Christ, asked for deliverance from a problem, and God said, “No,” and Paul had to accept that judgement and go on.

And again:

God said, “No.”

“Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.’ He took Peter and the two sons of Zebadee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.’

“Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.’

“Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. ‘Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?’ he asked Peter. ‘Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’

“He went away a second time and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.’

“When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

“Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, ‘Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners’” (Matthew 26:36-45).

Jesus Christ, God’s own son, asked God to save Him from the horrific trial He was about to endure (a trial from which He could have saved Himself), and God said, “No.” For the first time in all of eternity, God separated His desire from the desire of His Son, and Jesus chose to accept that judgement and go on.

Not rejected

David, Paul, Jesus–I must conclude that God’s “No” to my prayer request is not a rejection of me. He is not angry with me and He hasn’t stopped loving me. Just because I can’t see His purpose in my dilemma doesn’t mean He doesn’t have one. 

The fact is that God is God and He owes me neither explanations nor reasons. However, He will always compassionately listen to my prayers, and He will always faithfully accompany me through my trials. Always.

I have learned over the years that God can handle my disappointment, my questions, and even my anger. My faith cannot be based only on asking and getting my own way; it can never be my will over His will. He is God; I am not. Period. And if He is indeed the Lord of my life, I know I must accept His judgement and go on, regardless of whether or not I understand it.

By the way, God did provide what I needed for that “thing in my life,” but He did it in His way and in His time. Looking back, I can see that in the process of providing for my need, He cut away some very unlovely things in me, and that, also, was good. 

The good news is …

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher above the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9). 

Regardless of any circumstances, even in my disappointment, I realize I must still praise God, for He is God. He is not my cosmic Santa Claus, standing ready to deliver whatever I request. He is my Abba, my Daddy, who knows me and offers my best provision, even when I don’t understand. The reality is that He has already given me much more than I deserve. I know that He is good; I know that He is faithful; I know that He loves me; and I know that no matter how bleak the winter, somehow spring always comes–in His way and in His time, spring always comes. 

This life is a temporary journey through a place that is not my home. What happens here, regardless of its intensity, will pass.

A word of encouragement

My friend, if God has said no to you, don’t give up on Him. Have faith. If your faith is weak, it’s OK to ask Him for more. Take all your cares to Him. He loves you with an everlasting, relentless, stubborn love. Talk to Him, and then open yourself up for whatever grace He is working in you.

God bless you, and may the perfect will of God, your Abba, be done in your life as it is in heaven.