Fox Offers Superstitious Evangelical Horror Fiction as News

Fox Offers Superstitious Evangelical Horror Fiction as News October 31, 2019

Just as “the Christmas Spirit” has the liberating effect of nullifying common social standards of humanity and etiquette for those “revelers” who swarm into violent stampeding mobs beginning with the infamous Black Friday post-Thanksgiving Day sales, October is traditionally a time of year in which Halloween frees journalists from any remaining tedious pretenses to credibility as they search out seasonal spooky paranormal claims. The embarrassing (and unquestionably harmful) superstition of exorcism annually sees a distinct spike in attention, while local newscasters seek out crackpots who claim to have eyewitnessed ghosts, monsters, and extraterrestrials. Sometimes, these pieces might seek a skeptical counterpoint, but often they report these remarkable claims, for which there is no remarkable evidence, with a disingenuous air of compelling mystery. Unbelievable as it may sound, the mystified reporter will suggest, there are a lot of unanswered questions presented in this hopelessly blurred photo, nonsensical claim, or persistent superstition. Their own agnosticism is made unconvincingly clear as they pretend that clearly unreliable testimony constitutes meaningful evidence… of something!

Yesterday, however, Fox News — ever the innovator in finding new ways to present fiction as fact — put all such equivocating aside and ran a fantastical, mind-numbingly credulous report titled ‘Halloween is devil’s holiday and Christians shouldn’t celebrate it, ex-Satanist turned evangelist says’ about a (clearly fraudulent) ex-Satanist-turned-Evangelical who claims he “spent much of his early life with strong ties to the devil–he drank animal blood, conducted sacrifices, was baptized with the devil and got married in a demonic wedding on Halloween.” He also, of course, “reached the ‘highest rank of devil worshippers’ [fraud ex-Satanist con-men never identify as a former, say, low-level admin, despite the alleged size and implausible efficiency of the Satanic cult conspiracy] and [was given] a ‘name chosen by the devil himself,’ after kissing a human skull and being cut open and burned in demonic ceremonies.”

The point of the whole article, of course, is that Halloween is an affront to Christians. John Ramirez, the self-promoting pastor who pretends to be an ex-Satanist, asks in the Fox News piece, “Have you ever heard a Satanist say, ‘I can’t wait for Good Friday to go to church with you?’ So, why would the Christians say, ‘I can’t wait for Halloween to say I want to dress up’…It’s cheating on God, really.”

Ramirez provides no verifiable details for his outrageous autobiographical tale, and the Fox reporter, most likely, never asked. Ramirez’s own website biography reveals that Ramirez can not distinguish not-Christian from “Satanic” in stating, “In his testimony, Author and Speaker, John Ramirez tells his true life story of how he was trained to be a satanic cult (Santeria and Spiritualist) high ranking priest in New York City—casting powerful witchcraft spells and controlling entire regions.” Santeria, of course, is not Satanism, as anybody who knows anything about either can tell you. He also has some idiotic story about a “voodoo necklace” manifesting before his eyes at a young age which somehow precipitated his first contract with the Devil.

Ramirez peddles his absurd self-glorifying lies to gullible superstitious markets through platforms like the 700 Club, failing to provide any tangible evidence of anything he claims, discrediting himself nonetheless by way of open displays of absolute ignorance toward that which he speaks.

The Fox “reporter” who wrote the embarrassing piece lists on his Twitter bio

I cover faith & values but my favorite stories are #GoodNews // @FoxNews Reporter. // caleb.parke@foxnews.com

Of late, his feed has waxed ecstatic over Kanye West’s new “Jesus is King” album, and an article he posted today gives an Evangelical perspective on why the Impeachment Inquiry is essentially another type of “War on Christmas”: 

“Evangelical leaders see this, not as impeaching Donald Trump, but they’re trying to impeach me and my values,” [Rev. Johnnie] Moore said, adding, “Donald Trump is pretty good at fighting alone — but he isn’t going to have to on this one.”

“We take it very personally because they’re going after our values,” [Pastor Jack] Graham said, calling the ongoing House impeachment inquiry a “sham of an investigation.”

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • From a Fundy perspective, it works. Halloween (Samhain) is pagan, and everything pagan in Satanic.

    From other perspectives is just the usual BS.

  • digital bookworm

    “We take it very personally because they’re going after our values,” [Pastor Jack] Graham said, calling the ongoing House impeachment inquiry a “sham of an investigation.”

    Admitting that their (Christians) values are the same as the orange guy’s?

  • Carstonio

    Oh, brother. It should be obvious that in the US, Halloween is a secular celebration, about laughing at the things that people normally find scary. Unless one is obsessed with seeing one’s self as a Christian martyr.

  • Brian Shanahan

    Halloween is an appropriation by christianity of older celtic festivals about the time of year when the spirits of the dead roam the world and the rest of having to hunt them back. Hence why Oct 31 and Nov 1 are in the christian calendar All Saints and All Souls.

  • Carstonio

    True. I was taking about the current meaning, not the origin.

  • The Bofa on the Sofa

    Correction: Nov 1 and Nov 2 are All Saints and All Souls. Oct 31 is All Saints EVE (aka All Hallows Eve)

  • Raging Bee

    All Hallows Eve —> Hallows Even[ing] —> Hallow-e’en —> Halloween.

  • WallofSleep

    The “local”, “New” Rock DJ referred to it as “Saint Hollow’s Eve”. Do you know how hard it is to drive while facepalming?

  • Raging Bee

    Yes, I DO know how hard it is — from hearing some airheads talk about how pagans worship Sam Hain, the god of the dead.

  • Erk. *facepalm*

  • This Ramirez guy is about as credible as William Schnoeblen. Besides, everyone knows that Hallowe’en and Christmas are the same because 31 Oct = 25 Dec.

  • Mike Curnutt

    I don’t like (or my pastor doesn’t like it) = Satanism

  • Mike Curnutt

    Check out this Bozo. His book “The Satan Seller” about his antics as a high-level Satanic High Priest was total fabrication, but the religious nut-jobs bought into it hook, line and sinker.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Warnke