SOMETIMES, WE REPEAT THINGS
You get to a point, or an experience, or an item on a list in your progression on this rock and sometimes wonder if you will repeat that thing you did. Sometimes, if we are young enough, you know you will. Like getting drunk on that ‘punch’ you made for the football game. It was good punch. It was nice, like a Long Island Iced Tea, but when you stood up, you saw little unicorns and zebras poll dancing to Joe Cocker and you, waking up on a bus for Tulsa your drunk friends thought would be funny—it was. You also saw the inside of your toilet for about an hour. But you know you will repeat that, again and again- hopefully, without the bus ride.
If you fall, and it’s bad enough, you wonder if that’s it, will you do it again only this time, no one will find you for weeks. They won’t even start to look for you until after the weekend and they are back from going to the beach! So, when you walk down the hall at night, the same hall and walk you’ve done for just over 23,000 sleeps, you kind of hold on to the wall, like a flight attendant does as they walk down the aisle on a plane in rough weather. The earth isn’t moving, the dogs are snoring, everything is fine other than your bones have still not sewn back together yet and the muscles are still torn.
It can make us cautious
It can make you, well, shy—cautious. You just don’t heal like you’re twenty-two anymore. Heck, at that age, there were no computers and my ‘portable phone’ was a trim line hanging on the wall with one of those 25 foot cords which, if you stretched it far enough, you could pull it off the wall. In those days they treated falls with chants and if they didn’t work, the doctor/dentist took out his 45 Colt and put a round through your temple.
You question your judgement about things, like in the bread aisle, so many choices, what if I get the wrong one and it does something to my bowel cycle? Why does that motorcycle not have a muffler? Do they know it’s five in the morning? Yeah, you question bread and mufflers after something sometimes.
Sometimes, we don’t bounce well
Sometimes, we bounce. In that bounce, we don’t bounce well. Its life. Sometimes, that bounce will hurt, and you might hurt for a while. Maybe it’s physical. A lot of times, it’s a mental hurt. That third marriage you thought was perfect, wasn’t. In all cases, you need to let stuff heal. Patience is not necessarily a virtue of mine. But I am getting better at it. Abba has taught me patience. He is still teaching me patience. I do want to go home. With the world spinning, seemingly out of control, I want to step off the planet and go to my home. But I need to be patient.
Dad is a loving, caring, jealous Father. He wants me home too. But it’s not time, not yet. Apparently, there is more for me to do. Okay, I can stick around for that.
When I realize, stop and think, who is in control And that control has me perfectly in mind, who else could I trust more? I tried me. Who else could I trust more than me? That never works. But God? Eventually, and more so now than when I was the guy with the punch, I realize His plan is The Plan.
I also think we can fold up our tent and camp on the couch too long, find that bottle of gin and bury ourselves in its bottom, deny, deflect, whatever it is to ignore the island we have made as we walk down the hallway holding on to the walls.
-and for a while, that is okay.
However, Dad won’t let us stay there long, maybe days, or weeks, or months, but in His time, that isn’t long. Eventually, if we listen, we will stop hitting that ‘repeat’ button and start to listen to the voice which has been there all along. Then, the Holy Spirit, God living in me, fires up the boilers and stirs the heart. I find it it is also okay to fling off the sheets, stand up, maybe with the help of my dogs, strap up that underwear, cinch down that sling, and buckle up those shoes, and step out, facing that nightmare again with the wry smile of a fighter ace. Yeah, you might fall, trip, spit up again. This time, the bounce might not bounce but thud. Sure. But what if it doesn’t? Yeah, what if it doesn’t?
GOD IS FOR US!
God with us. He is in us. And you come back from flying that mission, knowing you looked Evil in the eye and with that same smile, you said, ‘take that!’