A Week From Today

He left. Maybe it is you. Maybe the guy next to you, or down the street.

Maybe you found yourself saying you didn’t want to ‘be tied down,’ or ‘wasn’t the father type,’ whatever the hell that means. Or some line like ‘I didn’t think it would be like this or this hard.’ Then you shouldn’t have been spraying your seed all over that pool table or park bench or kitchen counter with words like ‘oh, you’re so beautiful!’

Really? What the hell did you think it would be like?

Many of my male gender simply are not playing in the game anymore, abandoning their role as anything of a leader in their own circle of influence.

You quit.

‘Ah, Mark, you seem a little bit like an angry elf this morning. Did we not get enough sleep? A little backed up? What is it?’

No, it’s you or the guy next to you. There are too many and the number seems to be growing.

I have one issue which gets my colon twisted and it’s this topic-fathers not being fathers. The vast majority of the world’s issues, I theorize, would go away if men would be the fathers to their kids and taught them what it’s like to sacrifice, being honorable, love sacrificially, being honest, believing in a god, and good listeners. Imagine your childhood if your dad sat down and listened to you tell your story about school and Tommy Berkins and the booger hanging out of his nose all day. He didn’t really care. But he wanted you to think he did because, at that moment, he wanted to hear you and be in your life. You were too young to care about his actuarial template he had to put together for his boss in the morning, but right then, he was in your world.

Putin would be nice and not have to ride his horse with no shirt so people thought he was manly. The North Korean guy would have a good haircut because his dad would tell him he looks like a dork with that one. Wives and mothers all over the world would breathe a little easier knowing they have a partner instead of an adversary.

But no, you had to go chase that woman with the dragon tattoo on her face with her gang affiliation where her eyebrows once were while you bet the rent money on Dancin’ Sunshine in the third at Del Mar when you were swigging whiskey or malt liquor.

Really?

Now, here’s the thing, you probably had shit for a role model growing up as well. But that doesn’t get you off the damn hook. You know right from wrong. So, do right. Do it today and keep doing it. You have a week to figure out who you are. Maybe there is nothing you can repair from the past. But you might be able to still be a model yourself. As long as you’re breathing, you can-if you want. You got to want it.

Frankly, the mother of your kids is probably glad your sorry ass is gone. She is dating the nice assistant manager from Albertsons. She breaks into a sweat when she hears your name even mentioned.

Life is hard. Life, is incredibly hard. Look around. Here’s some science for ya, the reason we are even talking about ‘fur babies’ using litter boxes in their school restroom is because of the lack of your ass in the father game and your guidance to that kid wearing kitty ears an squatting over a box at school. Yeah, that’s a thing now.

You don’t have to be great. You just have to be in the game, trying, failing, getting back up to try again. Imagine the role model you set when your kid sees you try and try and try and never quitting or leaving.

I’m done ranting. It might have been the two coffees. Or the two coffees and my tea. But I do feel better. You have a goal, a week from today.

Now, what are you going to do? Look around. There are some good models to attach yourself too. By the way, you’re going to fail, a lot. But that act alone is a win.

Do it by starting today. There are men around you to ask. Its okay to ask for help. It actually is a sign of strength and oh, by the way-you’re not alone. The God of the Universe is waiting on you to ask for help. He is with you. He was with you when you chose Dancin’ Sunshine and when you left the woman with the tattoo, He stepped in to her life and redeemed her. She calls him Abba now.

It’s never too late. Now, its your turn.

Do right.