It’s Early

And, of course, I am writing.

I always have Pandora on and one of only a couple of favorite instrumentals is playing. ‘Through the Dark’ by Helen Jane Long. She wrote the other favorite as well-‘The Aviators.’ Her ‘channel opened me to other writers of music like Tolk and Parijat.

I am in a dark house, in a dark room, soothed by candles throughout, the dogs snoring, the coffee is good and creamy.  One of two favorite and well-worn sweatshirts and the windows are open. I have, in mornings like this, created an island of peace.

He is here. He is in my dogs, He is in the warmth of the room. He just wants to be with me! Sometimes we talk, but in a moment of creation like this, He made it because I crave it. So, He sits silently in Dead Dad’s chair, just being present. He knows I am writing this. He knew it before the world began. When I look up to look out the dark window, I can see-maybe feel Him smiling. The idea of the God of the Universe wanting to be with me-with me continues to amaze me. I understand it. I fathom it. I can even, after decades of living, believe it. But I will not

We don’t need to say anything. God knows me so well. He knows the shit storm which will land on me tomorrow, or the next day. He knows the illness I will someday get, or the bus that will glance off me and shatter my pelvis. He knows my thoughts before I do. The Plan is perfect.

The world will do what the world will do. It is exhausting to try to figure out why it is the way it is. It has been such since the Garden and now, well, now it seems to be here. I would say there is nothing I can do about it, but that would be a lie. There is something. I can model-Him. I can be who He has made me to be. What does that mean? I don’t know. But I know He does. I do not ‘want to go bravely into the night’ as the words say, but I will be what I am made to be and if it means that then, well, my boldness will come from Him. Just like this day-this morning.

So, I am going to hit rewind to Helen’s song-right after Parijat’s ‘Healing Waves.’ Huh-

He knew that one too.

Find a moment today to walk in peace. It’s there. If I found it, you can to.