More on Introverts: two observations, and a comment

As a bit of follow-up on yesterday’s post on introverts: 

First observation

After finding that the recent book on introverts was unavailable, I settled on The Introvert Advantage:  How to Thrive in an Extrovert World, by Marti Olsen Laney, which is older (2002) and fluffier and not, in the end, meaty enough.

But here’s her list of qualities of extroverts and introverts:

Extroverts

Like to be in the thick of things
Relish variety, bored with sameness
Know lots of people, consider them friends
Enjoy chitchatting, even with strangers
Feel stoked after activity, eager for more
Speak or act without needing to think first
Are generally quite peppy
Tend to talk more than listen

Introverts

Prefer to relax alone or with a few lose friends
Consider only deep relationships a friends
Need rest after outside activities, even ones you enjoy
Often listen but talk a lot about topics of importanct to you
Appear calm, self-contained, and like to observe
Tend to think before you speak or act
Experience mind going blank in groups or under pressure
Don’t like feeling rushed
(p. 29 – 30)

Notice something?  In this list and others like it,
The qualities of introverts are associated with

The qualities of extroverts are associated with

Second observation

Reflecting on my own life, I’ve concluded that introversion/extroversion is, to some degree, situational.  For instance,

• What kinds of social opportunities do you have at any given stage in life? 
• How much sensory stimulation do you have in your day-to-day life (the quiet of an office or the chaos of small children)? 
• What solitary or small-group pursuits are available to you at any given time?

Comment

Flipping through The Introvert Advantage and similar books, and thinking back to articles on the internet, one of the key ideas seems to be:  “give yourself permission to skip the party” or, to extroverts, “don’t give the introvert in your life a hard time about staying home.”  But how about this, directed at extroverts:  “if you’re introvert friend hardly knows anyone at a party, step up and introduce her around.”