Vanity, Vanity

The Hebrew word translated here as “vanity” actually means something more like “breath” or “wind” (or so I am told by Jewish and Christian friends who are in the know). It is not merely the word for when a person looks into a mirror, then down and away, only to return to cherish their own captivating visage; no the word calls to mind what is ephemeral, what passes away, becomes more distant with every breath.

What’s that got to do with desiring the affections of others? In truth, though we ought to love our friends, ought to love even our enemies, we are commanded to do so not on account of some desire to be cared for, held up high, or included—to do such would be to love others only because we want to be loved—rather we are called to do out of love for God. The sun rises and sets; sands shift here and there; yes even the affections of family and friends pass away.

Unsurprisingly, Saint Augustine made this clear long ago:

There are some things, then, which are to be enjoyed, others which are to be used, others still which enjoy and use. Those things which are objects of enjoyment make us happy. Those things which are objects of use assist, and (so to speak) support us in our efforts after happiness, so that we can attain the things that make us happy and rest in them. We ourselves, again, who enjoy and use these things, being placed among both kinds of objects, if we set ourselves to enjoy those which we ought to use, are hindered in our course, and sometimes even led away from it; so that, getting entangled in the love of lower gratifications, we lag behind in, or even altogether turn back from, the pursuit of the real and proper objects of enjoyment.

It is easy for us to become attached to a good (being loved) such that that thing itself dominates us, leads us into sin, and in that sense away from both others and God.

This seems a hard truth. It requires us to discern what we are doing for ourselves (even as it seems we are doing these things for others) as opposed to what we are doing because we love others in God. Yet, this is not counsel to tough love in some colloquial sense. In fact, it is very often the opposite. Think of what my friend said to me: he made my vanity clear by including himself in the accusation. He did not foreground my sin; he did not speak from above. Similarly, vanity too often takes the form of condescension, of seeming “cool” whether online or in real life, seeming like we have it all figured out. When we speak down to others (even when we are speaking the truth), when we correct others in front of the community—these are possible loci for vanity (and, in fact, often among the most dangerous in an increasingly public and digital world).

These have just been scattered thoughts, fragments of the dialogue I’ve been having with myself today. I hope they may help someone as my friend helped me; it is clear enough that I remain the first among sinners.