Ten Characteristics of Responsible Love

Ten Characteristics of Responsible Love December 21, 2005

Ten Characteristics of Responsible Love

(1 Corinthians 13)

1.Responsible love is patient

Love is patient…
1 Corinthians 13:4 (ESV)

Relationships take work over time. They cannot be fixed instantly. Therefore, a person has to learn to set priorities, set goals and not let the small problems in the relationship hinder the two from growing.

2.Responsible love is considerate

Love is…kind…
1 Corinthians 13:4 (ESV)

People who share responsible love show an interest in the other person; they are genuine and honestly care for the other person in the relationship. The other person will be willing to open up to someone who shares responsible love.

3.Responsible love is satisfied and content

…love does not envy…
1 Corinthians 13:4 (ESV)

When a spouse is jealous FOR their mate, this is healthy. However, when a spouse is possessive (which is the never-satisfying desire to have more and more of the other person for oneself, whether that be in time or attention), this is defined as jealous AGAINST their mate. When you are jealous against your mate, this is unhealthy.
When someone is not responsible in their love, they are jealous AGAINST their mate and they see other legitimate interests (people and ministry involvement) as rivals to be eliminated.

4.Responsible love is modest

…love does not…boast…
1 Corinthians 13:4 (ESV)

A person who has responsible love will not want to be noticed. They will not spend time putting the attention on themselves. Instead, they will want to spend time with other people.

5.Responsible love is humble

…love…is not arrogant
1 Corinthians 13:4 (ESV)

A person who has responsible love will not be egoistic. Instead, this person will be humble. The other person will be more important than themselves. While modest shows that a person does not want to promote themselves, an humble person by nature will encourage someone else.

6.Responsible love is appropriate

…love…is not rude
1 Corinthians 13:4 (ESV)

A person who has responsible love knows the right words to say, and knows what not to say in a certain situation.

7.Responsible love is defined by giving

It does not insist on its own way
1 Corinthians 13:5 (ESV)

Because I am secure in God’s love, I can give to others without expectation of return from them. Because I know God will bless me as I follow him, I don’t have to demand or manipulate. Responsible love is shrewdly calculating—but not to get for itself, but to move people closer to God.

8.Responsible love is self-controlled

…it is not irritable…
1 Corinthians 13:5 (ESV)

An uncontrolled anger is anger that forms when a person gets easily irritated. For example, when someone steps on a dog’s tail, the dog reacts. But responsible love is slow to get angry. As a result, responsible love teaches us to control ourselves from reacting to the other person.

9.Responsible love is forgiving

…it is not…resentful
1 Corinthians 13:5 (ESV)

A resentful person is always counting how many times the other person has done wrong. Resentful people are bitter people. Unlike the anger than can occur when we are out of control, resentful people hold thier anger in for a long time. They wait to splash their unforgiven anger to another person. A person who has responsible forgives each wrong.

10.Responsible love is positive

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
1 Corinthians 13:6 (ESV)

People who have responsible love learn to be happy at the right time. They do not take joy at the mistreatment of other people. Instead, a person who has responsible love will be happy in the good things that happen to people. A person who shares responsible love will look to the good in others and try to say positive words of encouragement, not criticism that only brings people down.

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