Job 31:1-12 Fireproofing My Marriage and Family
Today, I want to talk to you about marriages and family. If you look at the shows on television, it is interesting, because three of the top shows are about families. Each of these shows reveals the change in families in the past thirty years.
First, there is The Simpsons. The Simpsons is a CARTOON sitcom on Fox. Since its debut on December 17, 1989, the show has broadcast 510 episodesand the twenty-fourth seasonstarted airing on September 30, 2012. The Simpsonsis the longest-runningAmerican sitcom, the longest-running American animated program, and in 2009 it surpassed Gunsmokeas the longest-running American primetime, scripted television series.
The Simpsons show us the daily life of a typical conservative nuclear family. They are often shown going to church, they live normal middle-class lives and they describe the normal problems of a family. Of course, the show is designed to make fun of what you see in real life. However, if you look at how the family is portrayed and shown, this family is what we as Christians would have considered a normal family back in the 1980s, even the 1950s.
Second, there is Modern Family. This is a mockumentary (a documentary-style comedy show) in which one main father with his younger wife as the mother of three children. These three children have their own families. The episodes center around their relationships. The parents have ex-spouses, so it represents a blended family. The children have different kinds of families, one of which is a homosexual family. So with this show, we have an illustration of the changes which have happened in families in our society. While The Simpsons showed the families of the 1950-1980s, this is the family of the 2010s.
Then there is The New Normal. This show highlights a gay couple who have adopted their own children. This show reveals the potential of where families are going. There is a new acceptance of types of families which the Bible prohibits.
None of this is new. Adulterous relationships have been around for thousands of years. What is new in this country is the prevalent acceptance of this, especially the different types of adultery. Adultery is happening all over the TV screen. Instead of claiming that the biblical family of one man marrying one woman and staying together in marriage until death, we as Christians have allowed the society to teach us what is acceptable. As a result, we’ve let the culture influence our families. Instead, our families should be having an influence on the culture. The culture has a powerful influence on us. We are all at risk of having our home destroyed by adultery.
Is it happening in your home as well? If it hasn’t, it can still come. Maybe it already has and you are trying to rebuild with a new family. The Bible shows us in Job that adultery is like a fire. You have to learn to protect your home from a fire. You can do the same thing in your marriage as well.
Adultery is a fire that burns the house down; I wouldn’t expect anything I count dear to survive it.
(Job 31:12 MSG)
Adultery destroys a marriage, and more importantly – the family. Just as Job has said, adultery is like a fire that destroys everything important to you. This sin sweeps through the family and brings havoc in its wake.
WARNING: If you don’t protect yourself, your marriage, and your family, sin (especially adultery) will come in and destroy your life.
If I’ve strayed off the straight and narrow, wanted things I had no right to, messed around with sin, Go ahead, then– give my portion to someone who deserves it. “If I’ve let myself be seduced by a woman and conspired to go to bed with her, Fine, my wife has every right to go ahead and sleep with anyone she wants to. For disgusting behavior like that, I’d deserve the worst punishment you could hand out.
(Job 31:7-11 MSG)
If you protect your marriage, then it will destroy your family. In this case, Job says that his wife has a right to get mad at him for not taking care of the marriage relationship.
Job was defending his character to his accusers. One of the qualities that he could defend was the steps he took to protect his marriage and family. Here, we will list the ways you and I can protect the marriage and family that God has given us. I have also included a tip to apply these ideas into your marriage. So the question I have for you is: Have I taken the steps necessary to protect my marriage and family from the dangers of an affair?
HOW I CAN PROTECT MYSELF AND MY FAMILY
You can protect your mind:
“I made a solemn pact with myself never to undress a girl with my eyes.
(Job 31:1 MSG)
Job took the steps to protect himself. He did what was necessary to prepare himself against the dangers of seduction. He did not undress young ladies with his mind. Whether that was online, on TV, or on the street, Job did whatever it took to keep his mind from feeding his sexual desires from other places.
Deepen your conversation with your spouse daily.
Work out with your spouse weekly.
Make out with your spouse monthly.
To keep your eyes off of someone else, you have to spend more time with your spouse. This is the only way to help make your marriage strong enough to withstand the dangers that are out there.
You can protect your friendships:
Isn’t God looking, observing how I live? Doesn’t he mark every step I take? “Have I walked hand in hand with falsehood, or hung out in the company of deceit?
(Job 31:4-5 MSG)
Your friends and coworkers will either help you or hurt you. They can encourage you in your family relationships, or they can help destroy them. You have to hang around people who are willing to protect their marriage, and also who will not endanger your marriage. Bad company corrupts good character.
Your friendships will determine your future, and in this case, your friendships will determine the health of your family as well. If you hang out with people who knock down their spouses and children in your company, you are more likely going to question your own relationships at home. Your need to be with people who want to make your family stronger, not weaker.
TIP# 2 – Build friendships with people who want to protect their marriages as well.
This applies to singles just as it does for married couples. You have to build a network of people who want to protect marriage, not destroy it.
You can protect your integrity:
Weigh me on a set of honest scales so God has proof of my integrity.
(Job 31:6 MSG)
What Job in public could also be seen in private. This means that Job was not living a double life. He was doing whatever it took to honor God with all of actions. God can help you from living a double life, if you learn that your spouse can be an accountability partner.
TIP#3 – Share everything with your spouse.
Don’t keep secrets from your spouse. Your wife or husband was designed to be an accountability partner. Share everything. Share your interests, your thoughts, your dreams, your property, your bank accounts.
Story: My wife and I were driving to Pinnacle Hills just two weeks ago. She was off of work, and so we went to get her blood checked, and then spend some time together. We went to Sonic, and grabbed a quick bite for breakfast. So we ordered a breakfast burrito and a breakfast sandwich. But we decided to share the orange juice. As I was driving, my wife turned to me and said: “I’m glad we can share this. It is a really nice life I have.” She was talking about the fact, that we could share even the littlest things in life. If you are going to make it in a marriage, you’ve got to learn to share everything.
You can protect your relationship to God:
If I’ve strayed off the straight and narrow, wanted things I had no right to, messed around with sin, Go ahead, then– give my portion to someone who deserves it.
(Job 31:7-8 MSG)
Job did not stray off the “straight and narrow.” That means he continued to develop his relationship with God. He kept coming to God in prayer and in a daily time of relationship with His Heavenly Father. He did not let his relationship slip.
This verse tells us some temptations about adultery. You can get involved in adultery when you aren’t satisfied with whom God has given you. It also shows that when you are not content with other things God has given you, you will start to look for contentment in false relationships.
I don’t have a big enough home. I don’t have the same car as someone else. So I am going to get me someone who will let me have these things. But the point is this: God gave you your spouse. He also gave you the opportunities that you both can share. You both can work hard and build your own home. You both can spend the money you make in a way that grows your family.
TIP#4 – Take time to share your experiences with God.
This is one of those “weekly workouts” or if your marriage is good a “daily deepening conversation.” Share what you are learning with God with your spouse. Don’t tell your spouse what to do. Just share what is happening to you. This helps to bring accountability to your spiritual relationship with God. It will also help strengthen. Sometimes, you will want to pray with one another. Sometimes, you will ask questions. So get the answers if you don’t know them. But this can also enrich your marriage. Because this will deepen your spiritual connection to one another. It can be a time of worship that you share. It can be a book that you both have read. Whatever it was, just share.
The grass is not greener on the other side. The grass can only be green on your side when you take care of your own lawn.
So what can you do to protect your family? Take the steps needed to protect your marriage. If your marriage is not strong, your family never will be.
Why spend time doing this? Because you want your marriage to survive. Why? Because God has designed your life so that your blessings that come, they will enter your home. God wants to store His blessings in your marriage and family.
Like Smokey the Bear has always said:
“Only you can prevent fires”. God wants you to prevent fires from destroying your home.