Desecration of the Divine: Awareness and Safe Spaces

Nuance and Context: Protecting Our Beloved

There are strong thoughts about this happening not just here, but in every community. And hilariously enough, they seem to circle the same failure to communicate; often, what is implied is not the same as what is being said—or addressed with any solid clarity. While Magdalene is speaking of the freedom of women in the community to not be forced to fulfill any Virgin/Whore expectations…

There is a massive, massive difference between supporting women’s sexuality and objectifying them for it, and that objectification comes in many forms, including the erasing of our humanity by pinning goddesses to us, the apparent entitlement to our sexuality, and not letting us define us. (Scarlet Magdalene; The Toxicity Of Objectifying Women In the Craft And Other Occult Trads)

…Sadovsky is instead speaking of the right of women to be allowed (especially by other women) to embody these roles. She defends the roles as viable and sacred as any other, and declines any attempt to take that choice from her and those like her:

I emphatically reject this entire line of thought [that “women who participate in systems that utilize gender polarity are brainwashed servants of our Masters in the Temple, Coven, Camp, etc.”].  We have agency.  It is insulting to hear this, and ultimately hypocritical when posited in a piece which calls for inclusion of all female voices.  Women in the Western Mystery Traditions have ultimate authority to worship as we please. (Sonja Sadovsky; Io Babalon!)

Excellent points. Both viable. Both that need to be a foundation for any community.

Both completely separate issues.

And both incredibly, incredibly important.

Issue #1

Women who do not choose to be treated as living personifications of goddesses are being treated as though they have tacitly consented to being worshipped, touched, put on a pedestal, and made into fantasy objects for others.

They are calling out for other women and men—allies from all sides of the fence—to speak out on behalf of those women when those women are uncomfortable or harassed. They are asking for allyship, not wholesale slaughter of a divine principle, and what they want is to change the status quo of “assume all women are here for you”.

Issue #2

Women who choose to be the living embodiment of, in Sadovsky’s terms, Virgin or Whore are upset that other women are “trying to take that choice away from them” in the name of inclusivity. They are fiercely powerful in their faith and their mantles and feel as though they are being told that what they do is wrong.

They are asking for allies from both men and women to be allowed, encouraged, to worship as they see fit, without demeaning their sexuality or lifestyle or the joy found in being worshipped.

We Are Being Played

And we are being played by our own inability to shut up when we need to shut up and listen when we need to listen.

The nuance of these topics were utterly lost along the way, and I suspect it’s because emotions are always high when ones’ passions are on the line. Ironically (bitterly, hysterically, wearily) the ultimate beneficiaries of this rift between consenting and non-consenting femmes are the very ones whose society perpetrates it:

Men. (Well, and most specifically, those who feed—intentionally or otherwise—off the negative objectivity of women and femmes.)

It’s time to rethink longtime honored thoughts on many things, and it’s okay to do so. (Scarlet Magdalene; The Toxicity Of Objectifying Women In the Craft And Other Occult Trads)

You see this being applied across all kinds of communities once considered married to their traditions. Professionals in sci-fi/fantasy circles are beginning to move away from the worship of H. P. Lovecraft because of his rabid racism inherent in his work. J. R. R. Tolkien, idolized for his fantasy, is no longer being held up as the golden standard—it is a story predicated on the awesomeness of white males and the occasional decent female. Marion Zimmer Bradley has been decried due to decades of perpetuating child abuse.

STEM fields are working to undo long-held beliefs that science and tech is a man’s world; women who had been smothered under the claims of men in the past are now being lauded for their contributions to science through the ages.

Freaking comic-book movies and stories are being spearheaded by women in appropriately fight-ready clothing. And even if those women are wearing high heels, have cleavage, etc, that doesn’t take away from their wit and intelligence and skill. It just becomes part of who she is, not all aspects of who she is.

Problematic concepts and people are slowly being phased out, and the end result is a surplus of new, talented, incredible blood that is bringing strength and innovation to the communities they join.

So why are we lapsed behind? My people, my friends, my souldevouringly luscious delights, can we all agree on one thing?

NOBODY SHOULD BE TREATED IN A WAY THAT THEY DO NOT WELCOME.

The default in the pagan circles should not be, “I will encroach upon your comfort and define you as my goddess to worship and touch unless you specifically tell me otherwise.” That’s wrong. It’s also pervy; nobody should be touched without permission. Nobody should be subjected to idolization unless they choose to be.

What needs to be reprogrammed is the opposite: “I will not worship and touch you unless you specifically tell me otherwise.”

Strictly speaking, a woman who expresses and invites worship is a woman whose worship should be a blessing. Not a given. There is a fine line between sacred and sanctified.

And a universe of difference between one’s own identity and somebody else’s expectation.

We continue to fail to understand the difference. In fact, we actively work to invalidate the experiences of our own allies.