July 21, 2019

Washington DC – The White House issued a statement saying President Trump is taking a leadership role in crafting a new U.S. citizenship test. The comander-in-chief is personally crafting 100 new questions that will make up the exam. The U.S. citizenship test first started in 1986 under President Ronald Reagan. It was later modified in 2008. In the past, the exam featured questions like What does the Constitution do? and Name one branch or part of the government. Anonymous White House… Read more

July 20, 2019

Washington DC – Republican lawmakers are coming out of the closet and telling the world they will not be the victims of verbal abuse anymore. For too long, they argue, their enemies have been slurring their good names with the word racist. “Prominent Republicans were kicked off Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, the deli line at Stop’n Save, and, yes, even the Myspace after being called racist,” Georgia Representative Andrew Canard said. “It’s time we make that word our own.” Republicans are… Read more

July 19, 2019

A new report by the Catholic watchdog group Aegis reveals Christians are being persecuted at disturbing rates in the United States of America. Catholics in particular are being targeted by state, local, and federal governments. To make matters worse, nongovernmental organizations are also partaking in the abuse. ”You don’t need to see the report,” explained Aegis head Father Andrew Canard. “Turn on the news and it’s right there in your face.” The report paints a grim picture of Christian persecution:… Read more

July 18, 2019

  Andy’s Follies #36 The Spotlight Effect is a lesson on our species’ tendency to bathe in narcissism. Check it out. As always, Patrons can see the bonus panel over here! My name is… Buy it here!     Read more

July 17, 2019

President Trump released his own translation of the Bible last April. Laughing in Disbelief reported the story: The Donald Trump Version (DTV) Bible is on sale now in many retail stores and online. For $59.95 the faithful can own the holy book of Christians translated by President Trump. The DTV contains 39 books of the Old Testament, 27 books of the New Testament, and the classic Trump: The Art of the Deal.  Here are 5 popular Bible verses in their… Read more

July 16, 2019

Ten-year-old atheist Bobby Thompson recently made the decision to tell his Grandma the Moon is not unAmerican. It’s going to be an uphill battle. You see, Nana watches quite a bit of Fox News. After Fox News personality Tucker Carlson railed against the metric system, Nana threw out his ruler that featured inches AND millimeters. “The Devil has no place in this house,” she cried. “In this house, we will serve the LORD and His inches and yards.” Now whenever… Read more

July 15, 2019

FOX News recently asked President Trump who his top 10 heroes are. Here is the list and a comment by Trump on why they made the list: 10. President Coriolanus Snow – “A great man with a name fit for the whites.” 9. Witch-king of Angmar – “Great negotiator. Takes no prisoners.” 8. The Night’s King – “Cool as a cucumber.” 7. Jefferson Davis – “Greatest. American. President. Ever.” 6. Charles Ponzi – “He wasn’t American, but he built the… Read more

July 14, 2019

Washington DC – President Trump today named comedian and TV star Tim Allen as the new Secretary of Labor. His nomination is expected to pass through the Senate quickly. Mr. Allen is known for his many roles. He currently plays conservative business owner Mike Baxter on the TV comedy Last Man Standing. Many may know him as Tim “the Toolman” Taylor from the TV series Home Improvement. Kids who have seen the recent incarnation of the Toy Story franchise will… Read more

July 12, 2019

Author Michael Alvear has written many books. He was on the Naked Diner Podcast #152 talking about the satirical book he cowrote ‘Revenge of the Hatless: MAGA Meets Karma.’ On this episode of Best Advice Ever Michael opens up and you won’t be disappointed! We talk about drug addiction and its connection with weight loss. I hope you enjoy this video as much a as I did making it! Take a look at Michael’s Amazon Author Page: And if you… Read more

July 11, 2019

Hollywood, CA – Movie goers and critics are giving Midsommar rave reviews. Many consider this horror movie taking place in broad daylight as an innovative spin on the genre by writer/director Ari Aster. One critic remarked, “I’ll never look at jazz hands the same way.” Ivanka Trump is telling the world she’s looking forward to reprising her role as the main character Dani when Midsommar II begins production. The problem is, Ms. Trump doesn’t appear in the movie currently in theaters. Dani… Read more

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