Washington DC – President Trump and his legal team asked the Supreme Court to block demands he reveal his tax returns. This comes during impeachment proceedings in the House of Representatives. A besieged White House isn’t content on playing defense. President Trump went on Twitter today to declare Jesus knows his tax returns, and that should be enough for godless socialist Democrats. Democrats Respond Democratic lawmakers are collectively scratching their heads. Representative Andrew Canard from Massachusetts expresses a common concern: For… Read more

Des Moines, Iowa – Bernie Sander’s Heart recently set up a training center here in the capital of the Hawkeye State, and residents are going wild. With longtime manager Mickey Goldmill and once foe Apollo Creed in his corner, experts believe the 79-year-old heart of the Vermont senator will demolish corporations, corporate shills, as well as American and Russian oligarchs. “This heart spits nails, kids,” Mickey told reporters. “This cardiac muscle eats lightning and craps thunder. He’s a very dangerous heart.”… Read more

Oslo, Norway – This affluent Scandinavian country of 5.3 million souls no longer allows religious couples to adopt children. The parliament voted 150 to 19 in favor of the Child Protection Act. Prime Minister Andrew Kanard signed the bill into law. The statute takes effect immediately. Does The Child Protection Act Discriminate? “Sure it does,” remarked Prime Minister Andrew Kanard. “If you think the criminal code discriminates against murderers, then I suppose the Child Protection Act targets the religious.” Supporters of the law… Read more

I. I am Turkey thy dinner; thou shalt not have any strange foods before me. Turkey is the LORD. The Adonai. Fowl Jehovah. Show some respect. II. Thou shalt not take the name of Turkey in vain. After all the turkey has done for you, you’re going to bad mouth the bird? Bad Thanksgivinger. Very bad.   III. Remember Thanksgiving is not ‘pre-Christmas.’ Late stage capitalism is the Lord of this Broken World. It wants Christmas to control everything from… Read more

Washington DC – CNN’s fact-checker Daniel Dale died last night from repeated lies told by the President of the United States of America Donald Trump. Mr. Dale attended a Trump campaign rally in Louisiana when the tragic incident occurred. His tweets tell a tale of Trumpian sized falsehoods, and his struggle reporting the lies:   Trump is railing against the whistleblower, baselessly claiming the whistleblower “disappeared” as soon as he released the rough transcript. “A perfect phone call. A totally… Read more