Local Man Wonders If This is Racist

Local Man Wonders If This is Racist February 21, 2016

Whole Foods
I’m still not 100% sure.

While wandering the aisles at his local Whole Foods in search of free samples, a local man stumbles upon a poster that leaves him wondering Is this racist?  The poster looks like it’s based on a pulp novel or maybe a magazine from decades past. In bold script is written Black Amazon of Mars. The young woman in black skin tight armor that a 13-year-old boy would design — each breast is couched in its own metallic home — appears to be 100% white. And not Italian or Greek white, either. She is as pale as that albino squirrel that lived in the tree in his old apartment. The wild red hair is simply icing on the Caucasian cake. He then wonders Am I racist for wondering if this is racist? That vexes him a bit. A woman walks by and gives him a concerned look. Christ, now people think I want to buy this thing. Another disturbing thought shuffles into his brainy parts. What if another white person stops to look? What if a group of white people stands next to me and we all look at this poster and someone who isn’t white notices us and says “That’s racist!”. The man whips out his phone and takes a picture. Hopefully, one of his friends will tell him if the poster is racist.

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