“I instructed the children to mind their manners, but things escalated very quickly,” a bedraggled Mrs. Katz stated.
Secretary DeVos was introduced to the students and proceeded to read C.S. Lewis’ classic The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.
“The Secretary knew she wasn’t going to complete the entire thing. Her intent was to get the class interested in the book and have them finish it on their own,” an anonymous source reported.
The train started to go off the tracks when little Mikey Ellison raised his hand and asked, “Secretary DeVos, I’m confused. Can you tell me the difference between Austria and Australia?”
Although the Secretary seemed to be taken off guard, she did offer an answer. “My husband owns a ski chalet in one of them. The other has polar bears.” Before Mikey could follow up on the answer, Secretary DeVos plunged back into the reading material.
After another minute of reading, Madison Hart raised her hand and stood up. She asked, “I need your help. In this sentence ‘The food is in the bowl.’ what word is the direct object and which word is the indirect object?”
Secretary DeVos looked up and said, “Your teacher can help you with that. Let’s get on with this wonderful book.”
“Isn’t it just a thinly veiled story about Christ where a talking lion is Jesus? It seems a bit on the nose if you ask me,” came a small voice from the back. No one knew who it was. However, all the students present wouldn’t be surprised if it was that cheeky know-it-all David Wolkon.
“IT IS A BEAUTIFUL STORY OF LOVE AND REDEMPTION!” Secretary DeVos pointed out.
“Without any historical evidence to support it?” came that same small voice.
Mrs. Katz quickly de-escalated the situation. She reminded the class that they had a guest and they needed to respect President Trump’s appointee. That seemed to work.
Secretary DeVos went back to reading only to have Ty Wilson stand up and ask, “Two, three, five, seven, eleven, and thirteen. What is the next number?”
The Secretary confidently stated, “Fifteen.”
“ERRRRRRRRR!” Ty Wilson shouted, doing his best impression of an irritating alarm. “It’s seventeen, because…”
“NO ONE TOLD ME THERE’D BE MATH!” Secretary DeVos shouted and stormed out of the room with her entourage.
“…they’re prime numbers,” finished the very happy and very satisfied Ty Wilson.
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