Washington DC – On the eve of a possible government shutdown President Donald Trump is luxuriating in his resort, Mar-a-Lago. Taking on his duties as commander-in-chief and leader of the free world is Cluckers, the Chicken.
“It is widely known that President Trump loves to sleep in his own bed,” stated political pundit Andrew Canard. “Is anyone really surprised he’s in Florida while Cluckers the Chicken runs the White House hen house?”
What’s remarkable about the situation is that President Trump’s political base — 20% of the population — are willfully ignorant about what’s going on. Fans of Trump cry fowl to the assertion that their candidate has been replaced by a chicken of any kind: Rhode Island Red, Plymouth Rock, Leghorn, or any other variety of Gallus gallus domesticus.
Denial runs deep in Trump country. During a special White House breakfast where the President was supposed to meet with everyday working Joes and Janes, Cluckers the Chicken took his place.
It is reported the event went exceptionally well at first. The President’s allies complimented him on his firm position against Muslims, Mexicans, women, and the poor. More than one person stated that President Trump was obviously in excellent physical condition by the rosy coloring of his comb.
”He doesn’t look fat to me. I don’t care what the fake media says,” stated William “Little Face” Longstreet. “In fact, I never heard him speak so eloquently.”
However, things went wrong as soon as breakfast was served.
“President Trump hates his eggs runny,” stated an anonymous source in the White House. “We specifically asked the kitchen to make those eggs over hard. It didn’t happen.”
For those used to Donald Trump’s various temper tantrums, this was just another day on the job. As soon as Cluckers/Trump saw their breakfast, she/he launched into an incomprehensible barrage of utterances that only she/he seemed to understand. Trump only calmed down after staffers brought in a portable heat lamp.
“The room had a significant draft. His feathers got ruffled with the cold,” one supporter surmised.
The Democratic opposition is up in arms at the flagrant disrespect for the Constitution and the American people.
Sources deep within the Democratic National Committee (DNC) state the Democrats are keeping a close eye on Cluckers the Chicken. They hope to have a bulletproof candidate in 2020 who will put Cluckers the Chicken to shame.”The real trick for the Democrats is to get an endangered animal to be President. Who doesn’t want to see a Penny the Porpoise with a Purpose sit in the Oval Office?” wondered Mr. Canard. “If Penny is a transgendered porpoise, I suspect Trump supporters will flee the country. They won’t want their kids to be in a country where the President is doing unholy acts with the presidential blowhole.”
Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017 . Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
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