The only way to solve the United States’ twin problems of homelessness and an embarrassingly low percentage (under 98%) of civilians with military-grade assault weapons is for charities to step up to the plate. Charities need to give America’s homeless assault weapons.
Did you know owning an AR-15 is the gateway drug to American freedom and responsibility? It most certainly is. Back in the days of the Founding Fathers a man needed to own property to vote. And how do you think the everyday man won the ability to own a plot of land? That’s right, by pointing the business end of a blunderbuss at English King Pointy Nose and saying, “Here is my gun. There are many like it, but this one will win me basic human rights.”
It is commonly known one can’t exercise his or her rights effectively without showing a modicum of responsibility. Imagine the world of opportunities that will open up once charities stop feeding the homeless and start giving them large capacity magazines to go along with their new weapons. It will be a classic case of “building it and they will come.” We sow the seeds of personal responsibility with AR-15s, and soon the homeless will soon be off the streets and become God-fearing apple pie eaters.
Gun control snowflakes will try to tell you “Companies should pay a living wage,” and communist flim-flam like “Owning a fully automatic rifle capable of shooting hundreds of bullets a minute is not as effective as providing free mental health services.” Contrary to popular belief, those gun control advocates are not well meaning fools. They are actively trying to undermine our kids’ bright American first future. Next time you run across one shriek “The only thing that will stop poverty without a gun, is a homeless American with a gun!” like a howler monkey.
In short, charities should be beating their food pantries and homeless shelters into AR-15s. Only then will we have the America we all deserve.
Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he penned a chapter in Not Seeing God: Atheism in the 21st Century He wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017 . Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
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