President Trump is celebrating what he is touting as a “really big pow-wow” with Russian President Vladimir Putin. The two world leaders met in Helsinki, Finland and discussed NATO, Obama’s meddling in Russian internal affairs, and the future of a joint cybersecurity task force. As a symbol of goodwill President Putin gave Trump The Joint Cybersecurity Trojan Horse (JCTH).
In the past, the idea of a joint cybersecurity task force between the two countries was shot down by Trump’s nannies (i.e., the US military). However, President Putin took some time with Trump during their closed door meeting and informed the US President is, in fact, commander-in-chief. And that means Trump has what amounts to dictatorial control over the US armed forces. And with that little piece of information the idea of a joint cybersecurity task force was resurrected.
Putin then revealed his present to Trump and the American people — a giant wooden horse.
The Horse is an impressive 80-foot high monument and made out of the finest Russian hardwood. Skilled tradespeople and the Russian secret service (FSB) worked around the clock for months making it.
What impressed President Trump about the JCTH is the sheer size of the thing. “I bet you could hide a lot of Russian hookers — in mean American freedom — in that thing,” he said.
Not everyone is impressed with the Russian gift.
Reporters present in Helsinki asked President Trump if it is wise to accept the towering sculpture considering the US intelligence services assert the Russians manipulated the 2016 election. President Trump hit back hard over that charge:
I personally asked if Russia trolled us in 2016 and got me elected. No. That’s what Putin told me. He also revealed Hillary emails and voicemails are the reason my father never loved me. It’s totally Obama’s fault.
Most Republican lawmakers are silent over President Trump publicly dismissing information gathered from his own security services in favor of Russian reassurances. Others are happy for Trump. Senator Andrew Canard (R-MS) is excited about seeing the towering Joint Cybersecurity Trojan Horse and is bringing his kids to see its unveiling. “My wife and I are bringing up our children in a Christian home. I can’t wait to show the little tikes the Horse and tell them ‘this is your new Jesus.’”
No one knows for sure what the new joint cybersecurity task force will look like. Experts expect it will manage online trolls and regulate the press more efficiently.
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